#what happened at Nintendo can someone fill me in huh

[labyrinthzone-enjoyer]

My beautiful wife Smrpg remake and my other beautiful wife Ttyd remake

[pawsomelestat]

༚༅༚˳ . ♱ . ˳༚༅༚˳ . ♱ . ˳༚༅༚˳ . 1 . ˳༚༅༚˳ . ♱ . ˳༚༅༚˳ . ♱ . ˳༚༅༚

Red flags and long nights

～～～～～～～～～～～

tw ; drugs, swearing, stalking kinda ?

4am. Shit time of night, whole city full of street rats starting fires and yelling. You'd think a loft apartment would get less noise being up so high, but you could still hear the shit covered junkies blowing eachother to bits down below. It was a nice apartment, just a bad part of town, the rent was low due to a past accident that happened so many years ago.

You woke up to a soft meowing and a scratching sound, making you groan as you opened your eyes to face a small white fluffy cat scratching at the base of your bed.

"Ozzy come on."

The sleep in your voice battled with the sound of a movie playing by your bed, a shitty little box tv connected to a vhs player and a super nintendo. An odd pairing, the tv playing a copy of a nightmare on elm street on loop before you sluggishly reached over and turned it off.

The cat then ran to the large circular window at the other end of your room, playfully chirping and swatting at a crow sat outside.

"Ozzy lay it off."

Wearing only a pair of boxers you slipped out of bed with yet another groan, heavy feet dragging tiredly. You scooped your fluffy companion into your arms and held him to your chest, trying to calm him while watching the crow who seemed to be peering into your room.

"You're a pain in my ass you know that"

You said that lovingly, nuzzling your face into his back, walking to a small set of red bowls on the floor. Ozzy was your companion, the keeper of all your secrets and the guy you played tekken 2 with. Cats are shit at co-op, but at least you had a player 2.

"Shit."

You pushed your hair back, noticing the lack of cat food.

"How desperate are you?"

The cat meowed in response, making you groan at the thought that you'd need to go out at this time of night. A baggy band tshirt sat ontop of a black pair of low-rise jeans on the side of your messy bed, the same clothes from yesterday that you'd thrown off in a tired manner. You pulled them on, slipping your feet into a scuffed pair of boots and pushing your messy long hair back.

The streets were a dangerous place during the day, but at this time of night they were a total death wish. All the things you'd do for a cat huh.

Cigarette ash blazing under the dark sky, night air filling your lungs and.. Footsteps. Not yours, someone behind you. You turned, glancing at the man close to your back, not quite taking in his appearance, just making a quick assumption.

"Look man I'm not selling anything tonight, barely got anything for myself."

Continuing to walk after addressing the stranger, you made it to a shitty little corner shop where you could buy a couple tins of cat food. You dropped the cigarette into a puddle, grinding it with your heel to put out the flame.

"Deluxe tuna chunks in a thick gravy. Delicious."

You chuckled slightly at your own sarcasm, reading the tin of cat food in your hand while you walked to the register.

"Shit."

Patting your pockets, there were nothing but loose coins and rolling paper in there. Nothing that could pay for the food. Once again you ran your fingers through you hair, it'd become an anxious habit.

"I've got it"

A low voice from behind you, close to your side and a hand reaching next to you to place a five dollar bill on the counter infront. You looked behind, recognising the same face as earlier while you grabbed the can ready to leave.

"Look man I appreciate it but really I've got nothing, can't buy me out with some shitty dollar store cat food"

You slipped out, thinking to yourself and mumbling about the weirdness of the guy you'd just encountered. Doing what you did was an oddly social job, you'd meet alot of weird people selling shit on the streets. But never someone wearing full clown makeup. Definitely a fucked up individual.

Footsteps behind you. For fucks sake.

"How many times do I have to say I got no-"

His hand against your lips, making you gasp as he pushed you up against the harsh brick wall of the trash lined alley. Your back being bruised as you squirmed under his grip, his dominant hand reaching into your pocket and pulling out a pre-rolled blunt.

"These will kill you, you know."

The man's voice came out in a half chuckle, his face close to yours. With one swift movement you took the tin of food and hit it against the back of his head, making him stumble back and let go of you.

"Touch me again and you're fucking dead you weirdo."

Another chuckle, raising his head slowly while staring deeply into your eyes.

"I already am"

You kicked him back as he edged closer, quickly clutching the tin and preparing your feet to run.

"I have nothing on me you know that, I literally couldn't pay for the damn cat food. There's no point trying to rob me you freak."

He laughed, finding amusement from your alarmed state, the cracks in your voice from fear just fueling his ego.

"I have no intention on robbing you."

Your feet took off, scrambling to run away as fast as you could, not even thinking to look back behind you. Adrenaline filled your lungs, it was a familiar high feeling but this time terrifying. Who knows what that creep wanted for you, the city was full of all sorts of bloodthirsty scum who'd do anything just for kicks.

Seeing your apartment building just before your eyes you stopped, panting and sweating from all that exercise. The cat food was still in your hand, funny how dedicated you were to keep him fed.

You weren't greeted by Ozzy's soft yet annoying meows as you entered through the front door, odd. Maybe he'd actually settled down on your bed for once instead of trying to swat at crows outside.

A soft click ran through the room as you flicked on the light switch, illumination spilling around the room.

A sight you didn't want to see. That same man, standing right in the middle of your apartment holding your cat.

Well tonight was about to get even longer.

[taeyohonic]

stolen dances | chap. 9

summary: sometimes supporting the person you love is the hardest challenge you’ll ever face.

pairing: jeon jungkook x fem!reader

rating: m

warning: alcohol consumption

additional tags: f2l, ceo!jungkook, bestfriend!jungkook, shrink!yoongi, my best friend’s wedding meets 27 dresses (if the boss/secretary couple had happened), angst-y

words: 2400

links: prev. |  next  [masterlist]

note: lower case letters intended

chapter summary: first the lasagne, now the chicken

“i’m really uncomfortable right now, _____”, yoongi says as the both of you get into the elevator. he’s carrying one bottle of scotch – the pricy one – while you’re balancing a cheesecake in your hands. the doors close – trapped in the small space, you turn to your therapist.

“i value your feelings”, you answer him, to which he just snorts.

“but i still have to meet your friends, who do not care for me.”

“you’re my friend – i’m just merging friend groups”, you try to protest but yoongi’s raised eyebrow chastise you wordlessly.

okay, maybe taeyhung’s written song ‘plus tae(one)’ about why he should be your plus one instead of yoongi, was a bit over the top. still, it was too funny not to play in front of your therapist und your barista.

namjoon has gladly stayed silent about the whole debacle with jungkook, so convincing yoongi to join the movie night has been easier than anticipated. the both of them do idolize the hosts a bit too much, making music themselves.

the doors open and before you can step closer to jungkook’s penthouse, yoongi pulls you back. you nearly drop the cheesecake while you watch in shock as the elevator doors close again.

“yoongs”, you start flabbergasted, “uhm… i don’t wanne… you know… sound condescending… but … normally, one leaves the elevator when arriving at the desired floor.”

the man snorts again right in your face, but takes a moment to respond.

“_____, i just wanted to make clear that i won’t be your therapist for the next two and a half hours”, he explains in a soft voice and looks at you with sincerity.

“i’m not here to analyze your relationships or judge your behavior”, yoongi continues and squeezes your hand in a silent promise.

“this is highly unprofessional – but… you are my friend. so… just, let me be your friend tonight.”

if you weren’t madly in love with the person living in this apartment building, you’d marry yoongi in the elevator.

“understood”, you nod and gift him a smile in thanks. but a question remains.

“why did you say two and a half hours?”, you question and press the button to open the doors, again.

“because that’s the average length of a movie. it’s a movie night”, he explains to you like you’re the dumb one. oh, sweet, sweet yoongi.

“we’re not watching movies, yoongs”, you snort while you pull out of the elevator. jungkook has rented out the whole floor, connecting the two penthouses. still, you have to ring a doorbell.

“but it’s called a movie night”, he repeats. “i brought my computer glasses, ____.”

is that a whine leaving his lips?

“that’s just semantics, yoongs”, you answer and maneuver the dessert to one hand only to pat his shoulder softly.

“semantics are important, ____”, he argues and points to your cheesecake.

“that’s dessert because society decided it shall be eaten after dinner. imagine if people just started to eat it as a main course!”

“that would be upsetting – good for us that we’ll have the cake as an entrée”, a voice beats you to your comeback and you flinch, not having noticed the open door nor the man starring at you with interest.

“jimin”, you breathe and feel yoongi’s back straighten at the sight of the former idol. he smiles bright as he takes the cake from your hand.

“____, lovely to see you again!” jimin doesn’t say anything to yoongi and dances more than walks into the apartment.

“uhm – you are real, right?”, you ask yoongi in a whisper and your guest just shakes his head.

“like i said, they do not care for me”, he explains and pushes you softly into the penthouse.

“but i do care for you”, you respond as you remove your shoes and take your pair of slippers as well as one for guests out of the cabinet.

before yoongi can point out how your support won’t be enough to make his night comfortable, jungkook interrupts.

“and when ____ cares, i care.”

the CEO looks as cozy as possible, wearing an oversized dark green hoodie and some worn dark jeans. his socks scream at you – they are customized pictures of you and the guys making funny faces. it was seokjin’s prank gift to all of you for last year’s christmas. they look adorable and ridiculous and you love them way too much to be mad at your grimace on his foot.

“you must be min yoongi – it’s a pleasure to meet you”, jungkook says and bows for a millisecond, like he wants to say ‘see? i’m polite!’.

yoongi looks at him knowingly and bows a bit lower than necessary.  

“thank you for extending the invitation”, your plus one answers.

the hallway isn’t big enough for their combined egos and you’re happy to see taehyung skipping to you.

“HONEY!”, he yells excited and pushes past jungkook and yoongi to hug you.

“and YOONGI”, the former idol continues, leaving you whiplashed as he crushes a dumbfounded yoongi to his chest.

“so glad someone can save me from jungkook’s winning streak!”, he says gleefully and takes yoongi’s scotch while ushering the group further into the living area.

“i can’t beat jungkookie at mario kart”, you state as you see the big flatscreen connected to the playstation flashing the famous nintendo game.

“well, duh”, taehyung agrees, “but i won’t be last place anymore. think about my ego, ____. it’s as fragile as a butterfly.”

yoongi just looks between the group, not sure whom to address first.

“yoongi, hon, are you any good in the kitchen?” seokjin joins the group, wearing a pinkish apron. you guess it’s not jungkook’s.

“uhm” the man next to you is clearly overwhelmed while jimin already opens his gifted scotch to fill it into plastic cups. the group has collectively decided to forego jungkook’s expensive glasses. too many have been broken. they even make taehyung use a sippy cup when playing the playstation.

“my sauce just won’t lose the weird aftertaste. i don’t get it; i’ve done everything right… come on!”, seokjin tries again, not even introducing himself. as a famous singer he rarely has to.

a silent yoongi gets dragged to the kitchen by a still talking seokjin.

“hey! i can help as well!” you want to follow them only to see the remaining three guys look at you, unimpressed.

“what? just because of one over easy steak?”, you ask.

“jiminie got food poisoning, honey”, taehyung answers and jimin pushes a glass of scotch into your hand.

“let’s toast to meeting your uhm – friend!”, he exclaims and clings your glasses together.

“shouldn’t we wait for them to come back?”, you say – already seeing jimin ex-ing the liquid while taehyung grimaces at the taste. jungkook moves closer to you.

“jin-hyung’s recipe calls for whiskey. he’s been stealing shots for an hour. yoongi will be better off than you. my whiskey is really expensive”, your best friend explains and squeezes your shoulder in comfort. you want to argue that yoongi’s scotch is just as good, but it’ll look like you’re looking for a fight. so, you swallow down the comment as well as the shot and feel the warmth traveling down your body.

“how was your advanced training, ___?”, he asks and leads you to the sofa taehyung is already occupying.

you groan, remembering the day you just had.

“they made us do a first aid course as well, it was… so much talking, talking, talking, saving lives, talking and talking”, you explain and fall down next to taehyung.

“it must suck to work”, he acknowledges and you snort at his wording.

“hey, i work as well!”, jungkook interrupts, sulking from beside you. you coo at him and pinch his cheek.

“she saved lives – you design sport shoes.” now even you have to laugh at his betrayed expression.

“she just learned how to. she hasn’t saved anyone in the six years of teaching”, jungkook huffs.

“one could argue that i saved them by giving them education – the greatest help one can receive”, you voice only to feel a harsh push from jungkook, which makes you topple over taehyung.

“i employ over half a million people. i give them more than education, i give them money”, he sulks. with an afterthought he adds: “and i gave them music, lots and lots of amazing music. some fans even said i saved them.”

taehyung and jimin are still laughing and you feel taehyung’s shaking shoulders while pressed against him. jungkook grips your tight in mocked warning.

“you can’t win this, jungkook. honey’s job is the epiphany of honorable”, jimin states and before jungkook can list off his charity work, seokjin and yoongi enter the living room.

“dinner is ready – thanks to yoongi!”, the oldest announces and you notice the pink blush on both their faces. they have been sipping on the whiskey; good, yoongi will need some liquid courage to survive dinner.

taehyung’s body leaves you in an instance as he rushes to the table, making you crush into the soft sofa.

jungkook just strokes up your calf and you hum against the cushion.

“come on, honey!”, seokjin orders and you reluctantly pull away from jungkook’s touch.

your host moves to the table to take his seat at the head, while the others shuffle to their usual places. yoongi is giving the former idols time to sit, before deciding to take a seat next to seokjin. you really want to sit next to him, but your usual place at jungkook’s right is the only empty one.

“taehyung, move!”, you order and evade your eyes from the surprised stares of your friends. but you don’t have to look to feel the heat of jungkook’s emotions.

“huh?”, the man stalls, waiting for his friend’s approval. after a tensed silence, he gets up, leaving an empty seat across form yoongi. you don’t miss a beat and sit down, a victorious smile on your lips.

“i present to you a cheesecake with fresh-ish strawberries!”, you say way too happy. all men look at their dessert in front of them. your cake looks good, you know it.

“thanks, ____”, seokjin praises softly and begins to eat. soon, the others follow. only yoongi looks at you all like you’ve grown testicle on your foreheads.

“why are we eating the dessert first?”, he asks with caution as if he’s trying not to upset a child. while taehyung just chuckles around a spoonful of calories, jungkook answers.

“____ loves dessert too much, so we decided to start with it, making us all more sober and appreciative.”

“decided sounds like we had a choice”, jimin comments with a snort.

“like we really had an option after listening to honey’s one-hour powerpoint presentation”, seokjin agrees with his mouth full.

“the vote was secret!”, you defend yourself and see yoongi starting to dig into your cake.

“like any of us could say no to you”, taehyung snorts and cleans the plate with his tongue. it’s been only minutes. your therapist does look impressed.

“did she use her gif-making skills as well?”, yoongi chuckles, “that’s always my breaking point.”

jungkook’s eyes don’t look friendly as he answers.

“nah, that was way before i brought her a photoshop license.”

“jungkookie mentioned that you know the DJ, yoongi?”, seokjin chimes in and changes the subject rather abrupt. but your friend doesn’t seem to mind and answers with an honest smile.

“yeah, namjoon and i have been friends for over a decade. he’s really good.” yoongi doesn’t praise people often. it’s nice to see.

“his mixing is decent”, seokjin agrees and you look at him in shock. he researched namjoon? even yoongi can’t hide his surprise.

“jungkookie forwarded us your spotify profiles”, jimin explains and makes the first direct/indirect comment addressed to yoongi. but that’s not the part making you jitterish.

“profiles?”, you ask jungkook and push the empty plate away from you. your best friend isn’t used to have you this far away from him and he does not care for it. it’s difficult to read your emotions from the distance.

“of course, _____”, he admits, “that’s the only information you shared about your plus one. i’d be a terrible best friend if i hadn’t at least researched his work.” the accusation is thick, and you can feel it hanging between the both of you. before you can defend yourself, the oldest gets up.

“let’s get the chicken, jungkookie!”, seokjin exclaimes enthusiastically, while you still look at your best friend who doesn’t let you out of his sight as well.

“come on, let’s get it!”, he repeats and pushes against jungkook’s shoulder. reluctantly, the host moves from his seat.

the two of them collect your plates and disappear into the kitchen.

“your mixtape is better than namjoon’s”, taehyung says softer to yoongi, who still looks uncomfortable with the situation and jungkook’s unspoken accusation. at the compliment though, the rapper blushes.

“really?”, yoongi breathes and tries to hide his reacting behind the nearly empty wine glass. you want to coo at him.

“if you ever need someone decent for the ‘so far away’ refrain, i bet jungkookie or jiminie will be more than happy to re-record it with you!”, taehyung nods and makes jimin choke on his spit. looking at the short man next to taehyung, you can’t help but notice his silence. he’s not disagreeing.

“you don’t like the collab?”, yoongi asks curiously and you try to kick him under the table.

now jimin is the one who answers, while jungkook and seokjin arrive with the citrus chicken: “nah, her voice is way too untrained. it sounds half-baked.”

silently, jungkook moves closer to you to put down the main course as the oldest hands out the homemade pasta. your best friend smells way too edible with the chicken in his hands, carefully placing it in front of you. his chest brushes against your back and you feel him inhale deeply. he must really like the smell as well, you think, and get so distracted by your friend and food, that you are not aware of yoongi’s smirk.

“so, jimin, you think _____’s voice sounds half-baked?”, the rapper teases.

__

there’ll be a part two of the dinner date! thank you so much for the feedback! i love hearing from you! there are two of bangtan’s running gags and two song titles in this chapter – who found them?

i’m really liking taehyung more and more…

stay healthy and happy and feel yourself hugged from, dana

taglist:   @livewittykid  @thequeen-kat @kagami-s-void @goldenclosethobi @youwannabelostandnotbefound @jinsalpaca @bishuthot @laabellaavitaa21 @baekstans @jalexad​ @kimluvwoo​ @jinsearthh​ 

[aion-rsa]

15 Strongest Pokémon… Emotionally

https://ift.tt/2TyXgQ6

The world of Pokémon is a hard and cruel place. It takes a tough Pokémon to stand tough and survive, which doesn’t make it a suprise that some of the most celebrated Pokémon could also be considered the strongest.

For all the lessons of friendship, Pokémon Centers, and jelly donut flavored rice balls, it’s not easy living in the world of Pokémon. In fact, it can be downright cruel for some. That’s why we want to honor an elite selection of Pokémon that are the most powerful, toughest, unassailable, and strongest…emotionally.

Because let’s face it, any Pokémon that can survive fear of death, rejection, imposter syndrome, or questionable hair choices can almost certainly beat Eternatus.

Charmander

Death comes for us all, but Charmanders have it especially rough. It’s been said that a Charmander dies if the flame on its tail is extinguished. That means that a Charmander must live in constant fear of anything that could put out its flame. Water, strong winds, and sand (coarse and rough as it is) kill up to 2000 Charmanders a year (we presume). If only there was a way to donate Pokémon pennies a day and help Charmanders everywhere live free of the fear of death.

Jigglypuff

Rejection. We can all remember times we’ve felt it. Maybe it was a lost crush, not getting that job, or never getting to control the playlist in the car because you once made the mistake of letting “Misty’s Song” play on a road trip and your friends never forgot it. Jigglypuff gets that. Every time it attempts to sing, its audience falls asleep. If a Jigglypuff sings a song and no one is there to hear it, did it ever make a sound?

Dugtrio (Alola Version)

Keeping your hair well maintained is tough even on the best days. Now imagine your defining trait is that you use your entire body to dig out of the ground. How are you supposed to keep those luscious locks full and silky through such a process? I’m bald, so I genuinely have no idea, but Alola Dugtrios have somehow mastered the art. How? If we ever learned their secret, all wars would probably end, all criminal organizations would dissolve, and at that moment, we may understand the secrets of the universe. Or they’d just let us know the name of their stylist.

Team Rocket’s Meowth

How far have you gone for love? Did you walk 500 miles? Did you ride on a piano for 1000 miles? What did you do? I can guarantee it wasn’t anything close to what Team Rocket’s Meowth did when he became the only Pokémon to learn to speak human to impress the lady Meowth he loved. And what did he get for it? He was called a freak.

Team Rocket’s Meowth may fail every week, but he goes on despite the pain. Every day he does, he’s stronger than all of us.

Abra

Multiple years in therapy have taught me you can’t run from your problems; you have to face them head-on. Sure, you can avoid sadness by avoiding problems, but in the process, you run the risk of avoiding happiness. I think about Abra in therapy sometimes because all it can do is escape via teleportation. That its only significant power. The mental walls it must have built up can surely withstand any attack, physical or emotional.

Unless, of course, you play M2M’s “Don’t Say You Love Me” from Pokémon: The First Movie’s soundtrack. That could make a grown Tyranitar cry.

Electrode

One might think that Voltorb could easily share this slot with Electrode, but there’s a key difference. Voltorbs are young and innocent. They haven’t lived enough life to know how sad it is when it all self-destructs on you. Electrodes know. They’ve loved, they’ve lost, they have families, and they have careers. But to self-destruct is what an Electrode must do, and it does it well.

Cubone

Everyone and their Rattata knows that Cubones wear the skulls of their dead mothers. What people fail to consider is that every single Cubone in the world shares that same backstory. Why are all Marowaks eventually killed? Is it the birthing process? What immediately deteriorates their skulls for Cubones to wear? Whatever it is, a Cubone becomes tough as rocks from the moment it’s born, and no one can stand up to a Pokémon that can handle that level of grief.

Or it’s all a big scam. If you look closely, the skull Cubone wears is not an exact replica of a Marowak. What are they trying to hide, huh? Is Mr. Fuji trying to drive tourists to Lavender Town? If that is the case, then Cubones have been running an incredible racket for years and deserve to be on this list solely for the power it takes to deceive everyone in the Pokémon world.

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Chansey

“A Machamp who thinks it’s strong has never been a Chansey in a Pokémon center.” – Pokémon proverb (probably).

Chansey must heal hundreds, if not thousands, of sick and injured Pokémon a day. The mental strain they endure must be immense, but Chansey does it all with a smile. That’s powerful. It also has to handle customer service at Pokémon Centers, and that might make it even more powerful. After all, the only thing that’s harder than a battle with a Palkia is dealing with the ninth person today asking to see your Nurse Joy manager.

Staryu

Every time Staryu emerges from its Poké Ball it screams, “HYAH.” Is this a battle tactic to frighten its opponents… or is it something deeper? A cry for help? A plea to stop this senseless conflict? Perhaps Staryu screams hoping the eternal void will scream back.

Mewtwo

Oh sure, you can catch one at level 70 and it already knows the Psychic ability, but that isn’t why Mewtwo is powerful. It’s powerful because it’s burdened with teenage angst. “WHY WAS I CREATED?” it asks. I don’t know, Mewtwo. Put it on your Xanga, I’m trying to play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.

When Mewtwo grows up it’ll take some serious time to scrub all that cringe from its social media profiles.

Marill

The year is 1999. Leaked screenshots of a blue Pokémon can be found all over the internet and tales of it spread to schoolyards around the world. Marill, the Pokémon pictured, is excited! It wasn’t sure if it’d be accepted after the unprecedented success of the first 150 Pokémon, but people already love it! It sneaks into the back of an elementary school class to hear the good word of mouth about itself.

“I can’t wait to catch Pikablu!” says nearly every child in the classroom. Marill’s blood turns cold. Marill tries to stop the rumors, but it’s too late. By 2001, the excitement is long gone. Children spot Marill and greet him with scorn. “Oh, that was all just a rumor. Marill sucks.”

To this day Marill can take a blast of Thunder right to its face because no pain can match the blow to its self-confidence that it received during that horrific time.

Shuckle

Here he comes, rougher than the rest of them. The best of them, tougher than leather. You can call him Shuckle, unlike Squirtle, he doesn’t chuckle. He gets on the dance floor and shuffles.

Being a Shuckle is hard, man. Look at those little legs.

Jirachi

Wish granting. It’s an ability with limitless potential, but Jirachi does not grant wishes for itself. No, it must grant wishes for others. That means it has to put up with adults desperately wishing their parents didn’t throw away their old Pokémon cards because they swear they had a 1999 First Edition Mint Charizard Holo that they could use to finally pay off their crippling student debt. Please, oh please Jirachi make my wish come true.

Putting up with that takes a mind of steel.

Rotom Pokédex

The internet is filled with “Who’s the strongest of X franchise?” debates. In those debates, people discuss strength, speed, defenses, and more. What they fail to consider is that the most powerful force is often information. You can’t beat someone who knows your every weakness. You can’t run from someone who knows your past.

Rotom Pokédex is living information. The moment it sees you, it knows you. What does it know? What sins can it see? Maybe forfeiting the fight is better than the possibility of your dark past being revealed to the world.

Ash’s Pikachu

All Ash’s Pikachu wants is to grow, but he can’t. It would hurt the brand. Kids love Pikachu! He can’t evolve!

“Please!” Pikachu begs. “I don’t want to evolve but please let me grow! If you won’t, I’m leaving!”

The Pokémon Company looks down on him and shakes their heads.

“Sure, Pikachu,” they say. “You can leave, but you know, our profits would go way down and we’d have to lay off half the staff. You don’t want that to happen, right? Sonia’s got five kids at home. What will they think when she tells them she lost her job because of Pikachu?”

So Pikachu carries on, the weight of responsibility on its shoulders every day.

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[dessiekarma]

My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 12

Chapter 12: This Will NOT End Like Every Other Harem Anime; We Want an Answer!

 (Y/N) smiled at the younger male who continuously made quite the show of staring at her. It would come as no surprise where he got the habit from, as the man sitting on the opposite couch didn’t do a much subtler job at gawking.

 “You’re not as hot as big bro made you seem.” The kid drolled out bluntly before flopping onto the couch and pulling out a Nintendo switch.

 “You rude little shit!” Hara exclaimed making his way into the room with a bottle of water. Just as quickly as the water was shoved into (Y/N)’s hand was the Switch pulled from the kid and held several feet over his head.

 “Triggered much!? Gimme my stuff! Oww!” The kid stopped taunting as an older woman delivered a smack onto his head.

 “Cut it out! Be nice to our lovely guest and don’t ruin this for your brother.” The woman hissed at her youngest son before smiling brightly at (Y/N). “Sorry my baby lacks some social graces much like I’m sure you’ve noticed with Kazuya.”

 “Mooooother please.” The lavender haired male groaned before dropping the switch onto his little brother’s face and sitting next to (Y/N).

 “I’m just teasing, sweetheart, she knows that. Do you need anything? Water, snacks, dinner?” The woman said being just a bit too generous and eager-sounding.

 “No, that’s okay Kazu-chan just brought me a bottle.”

 “Kazu-chan?” The woman smiled even wider, if that was possible and delivered little excited smacks onto her husband’s arm.

 “Darling, I think you might be scaring the poor girl.”

 “Says you, old man. You’ve been staring at her since she walked in the door.” Hara rolled his eyes, pulling the water bottle away from (Y/N)’s lips and taking a drink.

 “Ahh my son is right! I apologize, my wife may be a little excited to meet a girlfriend of Kazuya’s. We are just not used to him bringing girls home.”

 “Yea at least not ones that still have their clothes on.” His brother muttered quietly, sticking his tongue out at his brother death-glaring him.

 “Dad, ma, I already told you she’s not my girlfriend just my team manager.”

 “Sure bro, that why you never shut up about her?”

 “Ight imma beat his ass.” Hara stood up quickly and the preteen curled in on himself. Attempting to diffuse the situation (Y/N) took quick notice of the t-shirt the kid was wearing.

 “Hey cool shirt! Ochako is best girl, am I right?!”

 The kid instantly unraveled himself and sat straight up.

 “You like bnha?”

 “Hell yeah, it’s so cool! Lemillion is everything.”

 “Oh my god, did you see the new episode!?”

 “Surprisingly, I haven’t started the latest season yet.”

 “WHAT!? Well you have to watch it like right now!”

 “Are you offering?”

 “You’ll watch anime with me?” The kid now had a clear sparkle in his eyes as he jumped off the couch and pulled the girl up by the arm.

 Hara rolled his eyes as his weeb brother ran off with his equally weeb friend. Turning to his parents he could see the questioning in their eyes. Clearly wanting to know why he was bringing home a pretty beaten up girl at nine pm to meet them.

 “Look, you know how I mentioned having a female friend who was getting picked on? Well it’s gotten worse…much worse. She doesn’t feel okay going home right now and I didn’t want her to be alone. I offered for her to stay here.”

 Both his mom and dad looked at him blankly. The silence in the room was heavy.

 “I mean, please? Or is it okay if I stayed at a hotel with her?”

 The older woman suddenly shook her head, looking shocked. She turned to her equally flabbergasted husband.

 “Wait, honey, are you ASKING us?”

 “Well yeah. So, can she stay here for a bit?”

 “Of course she can.” His father responded still sounding a bit astonished.

 “Thanks. I’m gonna take a shower.”

 The two parents watched as their son made his way out of the room.

 “I can’t believe Kazuya actually asked our permission for something.”

 “Do you think it’s because of the girl? I think I like her already!”

 “What if he screws it up?”

 “Well…we still have two other single sons!”

~~~~~

 “Hey my mom sent me in here to clear out a pest problem.” Hara said nonchalantly bursting into the guest bedroom.

 (Y/N) jumped like a cat, startled by her friend’s abrupt entry.

 “I could have been changing or something!”

 “And? Come on, my eyesight is shit anyway.”

 “Not the point! Besides what pest problem?”

 Hara leaned against the wall and pulled open the nightstand to reveal a baby monitor. Talking into it he grew a shit eating grin.

 “What exactly were you hoping to hear through this you little perv!?”

 “Why don’t you mind your business you jerk!” A voice crackled through the monitor.

 (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle just a bit as Hara flung the device out the window.

 “You watched anime with that loser. That’s like third base in that kid’s eyes and you’re basically his girlfriend now.”

 “I’m flattered but I don’t think I can travel to America from prison.”

 The young girl tried to ignore the loud sigh that came from her friend. She knew that Hara was probably the one who disagreed the loudest with her decision to leave Japan. Flopping back onto the king size bed, (Y/N) wasn’t fazed when she felt Hara flop down beside her.

 A comfortable silence washed over the two. It went on for so long that (Y/N) was almost sure that she was seconds away from falling asleep. That’s why when Hara finally spoke, she easily chucked it up as her dreaming or hearing things.

 “(Y/N)?”

 “Hmm?”

 “If I told you I loved you…would you stay?”

 “If you told me you loved me would you even mean it?”

 “When have I ever shown myself to be someone who doesn’t say what they mean?”

 (Y/N) finally opened her eyes and turned her head. Instantly she was swept into the whirl-wind of Hara’s fantasy eyes. There was no playfulness in his face nor hidden joke. She waited for a punchline that never came.

 “Love is a strong word. Not even any of the other guys used that word.”

 “Because none of the other guys have enough experience to identify. And even those who do are too stubborn to admit it.”

 “And you’re not stubborn?”

 “I am. But right now all my stubbornness is focused on convincing you not to leave. Please? I’d take care of you. I wouldn’t let Mei, or your mother or grandfather so much as look at you if you didn’t want them to.”

 “But you know my plans.”

 “And you can accomplish them here. I would help and I’m sure my parents would literally bend over backwards to give you anything they could. Don’t you worry about leaving us? Worry that you’d miss us? Miss me?”

 “Of course. But it wouldn’t be forever…I just don’t know for how long it would be. But wow ‘love’ really?”

 “Yeah seriously. I’ve had more flings than I can count and a good number of girlfriends to boot. I know what infatuation feels like. I know what sexual desire feels like. Attraction, crushes, curiosity. I’ve felt all that before, but I never felt this one. I’d say the only thing left is love. Of course not that it means anything with you leaving.”

 “It doesn’t mean nothing.”

 “Don’t give me that shit. Do I seem like the type of guy to promise to wait for you however long it takes?”

 “Do I seem like the type of girl who would expect you to?”

 The silence came again this time feeling only a bit awkward.

 “I mean of course I’d fuck other girls while you were away. But uhh in terms of love…. A shitty guy like me? I wouldn’t have such great karma, to meet another girl. So I suppose no matter when you’d come back…”

 His voice trailed off and (Y/N) smiled at the thought of what he was trying to say. Feeling more comfortable than she had in days, the girl let her eyes close heavily and drifted to sleep.

~~~~~

 “She doesn’t wanna fucking see you and you have about one second to get the hell out of this gym before I turn you inside out.”

 Hara and (Y/N) looked at each other, hearing Yamazaki’s voice boom from outside the gym. She knew deep down what to expect and had come to terms that she would have to face everything head on before leaving.

 Filling her lungs with air, (Y/N) pushed open the door and was met with not just Ryo, but the entire Touou basketball team.

 Her ex looked like shit and maybe she was wrong for saying that she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad for him right now. Before she could even open her mouth to get a word out, Momoi was speaking up.

 “Please (Y/N), you really need to give Ryo a chance and listen to what he has to say!”

 “Huh you know I am really just tired of people telling me what I ‘have’ to do. But let’s say I’m willing to talk to ANY of you, what is there to say? Or actually should I get Mei in here, so you don’t have to rehash anything to her?” (Y/N) sarcastically retorted.

 “That’s not how it even happened! If you would let him explain you would understand that he wasn’t trying to tell that girl, he was talking to us and she overheard.” Wakamatsu called out loudly and almost accusingly, causing (Y/N) to scoff.

 “And if you would remove your head from that far up your ass you would understand how that only makes it worse. I’d give less of a shit how someone talks about me to my enemies then how they talk about me to my friends.” The young woman finally turned to eye up her ex. “What did I ever do to you for you to go and tell them the most personal thing that was between us?”

 “I was angry and…you moved on so fas-”

 “Fast? You think that was fast? You think months of me feeling like shit, of wondering where I went wrong, of thinking maybe I made the mistake…isn’t enough? How long was I supposed to hate my life for you to feel better about yourself?”

 “You know that’s not what I meant. You chose strangers over me, how was I supposed to feel about that?”

 “NO! I was never going to choose. YOU made me choose. I wanted to be a part of a team again but I wanted you too. You didn’t let me have both. Don’t resent me when you turned yourself into an option.”

 “I was worried about you! All of us were, don’t you get that? You had a tough enough time at Too and knowing your personal situation, we didn’t know how things were going to go for you at some rich kid school. The you go and befriend literally the only people we warned you about…It’s like you do it on purpose!

 “Do what on purpose?”

 “Cause problems for yourself! Then I hear you were attacked last night when even Aomine has told you to stay away from Haizaki and instead of just being quiet you have to always instigate. It’s like every bad thing that happens to you is becau-”

 “You need to stop talking.” A gruff voice came from behind the smaller male.

 (Y/N) was shaking with anger and tears at this point but forced her glare away from Ryo to look at Aomine.

 “You came because you wanted to apologize but all that’s come out of your mouth is bullshit.”

 “Sakurai, regardless of what you think I didn’t choose a lot of this. I didn’t ask to be born into a manipulative and abusive family, I didn’t ask to be born at all. I didn’t ask for Haizaki to attack me or any of the guys that have in the past. And I definitely didn’t ask for you to come here an insult me and my team. When you’re ready to actually apologize I’ll be willing to listen. Until then get out of my face.”

 Sakurai looked like he wanted to burst into tears, but he blinked his eyes harshly. Nodding gently he took a deep breath.

 “I still love you, you know. And I don’t know why I can say it all the time but had a hard time right now…I really am sorry more than you probably believe. I was so busy on trying to get the chance to talk to you at all that I didn’t think about what I was going to say. I’ll get it right next time, I promise.”

 “Now that you got your chance to give your sob story, you can go.” Hanamiya waved off the entire team before turning around and walking into the locker room.

 With nothing left to say each team turned and walked off, one side out of the gym and the other following their captain. Only two remained under the net.

 “Thanks for calling Sakurai out on his shit.” (Y/N) smiled softly at Aomine who didn’t have a readable expression.

 “It was annoying me plus I didn’t even want to be here.”

 “How did they manage to convince you?”

 “Told me it was a scrimmage. I’d be willing to play anyone who managed to piss off Tetsuya.”

 “Sorry to disappoint.”

 “I have a question though.”

 “Shoot.”

 “You’ve fucked all of them right?”

 “Aomine! How could you ask me that!?  I thought you were on my side!”

 “Calm down. I didn’t know there was a side to pick here. But you were the one who always hassled me with anime facts I didn’t want. And if anything stuck in my head it was big tiddy 2d girls and ”

 “Harem.” Both said at the same time.

 “We both said we weren’t pulling any weak bullshit if we ever found ourselves in the center of a harem. We were gonna use harem privileges to get laid. So, come on tell me some numbers. No details! I just want a body count. All five?”

 (Y/N) face grew red as she remembered all the times, she sat on the sidelines watching her boyfriend play basketball and rambled off to his less than participating teammate. To be fair she always assumed Aomine was asleep unless they started talking ecchi.

 “NO!”

 “No you won’t tell me or not all of them? At least 3?”

 “Look if it was any more than one, these guys would have ‘School Days’-ed my ass by now.”

 “I have no idea what the anime reference is but I can get the subtext that you did cash in your protagonist card once.” Aomine had a smirk on his face as he continued to tease his old teammate.

 The girl felt her face burn red but nodded her head in agreement.

 “Do they know you still love Ryo?” (Y/N)’s head shot up which made Aomine let out a cross between a scoff and a chuckle. “Even if you do love one of these assholes, even if its not the one you totally banged…you love Ryo too. Word of advice: don’t give up anyone you can’t imagine NOT being in your life 3 years down the road. Cutting ties with someone sometimes doesn’t have regret that hits you until you see them tied to someone else.”

 “Sounds like that’s coming from experience.”

 “Does it? Well even more of a reason to hear me out. I would say I’d see you around but something tells me I won’t…that right?”

 (Y/N) nodded at her surprisingly perceptive friend.

 “Good luck then.”

 “So, is it really true then?” A soft voice rang from behind the girl as the tan male closed the door to the gym. (Y/N) didn’t have to turn to know it was Yamazaki.

 “That I still love Ryo? Well-”

 “No, not that. We all know you do, I don’t think you’ve ever gone a week without talking about him. That’s the reason none of us have actually kicked his ass, y’know? I meant is it true that you love someone from this team?”

 (Y/N) turned around and for the first time in a while she made complete eye contact with the ginger haired male.

 “Yeah…at least I thought I did.”

 “You thought?”

 “Seems pretty horrible to love anyone if I’m not completely over my ex, doesn't it?”

 …

 “That wasn’t a jab at you, Zaki.”

 “No, that okay. There’s nothing you could say to me that I don’t deserve at this point. Not that I’m trying to throw myself a pity party or make you feel guilty for me feeling guilty or…ugh why is it so hard to talk to you!?”

 “You think I’m hard to talk to?”

 “I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything! I just mea-”

 (Y/N) took a step closer to her friend and attempted to shift a piece of hair behind her ears only for Yamazaki to take a microstep back. Her eyes scrutinized him more before tucking the hair away.

 “Mei hasn’t been kind to you ever, has she?”

 “Why did you bring her up?”

 “You flinched away from me right now.”

 “No I didn’t!” His voice practically boomed before he seemed to realize the volume.

 “I know we’ve always just talked about her as your bitch ex and joked about how crazy she was. We only took her seriously when she came after me…but she’s been awful to you for a long time, right? Emotionally, verbally…physically?”

 Yamazaki’s eyes went almost as dead as Furuhashi’s. He didn’t like what she was implying, that he was some kind of victim. He especially didn’t like hearing that shit from her. She was the one who was abused, in every way a person can be.

  So what if his girlfriend said things that hurt his feelings sometimes?

 Was someone supposed to feel sorry for him because she screamed at him for little things in public, in front of his friends?

  What right did he have to get sympathy for his 5 foot nothing girlfriend slapping him now and again?

 His thoughts were cut off when he simultaneously felt a tear run from one of his eyes and felt (Y/N) wrap her arms around his waist to embrace him.

 “I’m so sorry that we, your friends, didn’t notice. And even when we did…all we did was joke about your crazy ex instead of helping you. We heard her yell and threaten you…abuse you. We would hear all her manipulation and the guys heard more than I ever did. I’m sorry we didn’t stop her from hurting you too.”

 “Don’t apologize to me! I don’t deserve it! Abuse or not, it doesn’t excuse any of the choices I made!”

 “No, it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you retroactively deserve any of what she put you through. You apologized to me and I can’t forget what happened, but I forgive you.”

 “I never meant to hurt you! I was just jealous because I barely had a chance to start with and then to think that you had all this experience and I only had Mei. I didn’t know how anyone besides her could ever see anything in me and it seemed like everything was working against me. And I know I don’t act like it but…I love you (Y/N)!”

 A loud throat clearing drew the attention of both teens. The rest of the team had emerged from the lockeroom, all clearly having heard the confession. (Y/N) turned and smiled at the guys widely.

 “Ready to play?”

 “No.” Seto said firmly. “We can’t put it off anymore. I think it goes without saying that everyone in this room is aware of their feelings for you. I don’t think any of us will fight each other over you.”

 “Shit I’ll take any of you right here right now.” Hara scoffed.

 “BUT…I do think we deserve an answer.”

 (Y/N) looked between all the faces of her team before taking in a deep breath.

~~~~~

 A knock at the door had the girl jumping from her skin. Shoving her suitcase under her bed, (Y/N) quickly walked to the entrance of her guest house and opened the door slowly.

 She was expecting her mother or grandfather. Hell, she was even expecting one of the guys.

 Ryo, instead, stood in her doorway trembling slightly. As quickly as she opened the door, the boy gave a deep bow.

 “I’m so sorry! For everything…I have a lot I want to say. That is…if you’ll give me the chance to say it.”

 (Y/N) looked between her ex and her room where the packing still needed to be done. Opening the door widely, she waved him inside.

(Author’s Note: Talking about Yamazaki being abused is NOT supposed to be a plot element I pulled out my ass to get him back in everyone’s good graces. I have always written Mei with the intent that she be read as an abusive girlfriend because she IS.

Take care of your male friends too, never assume they are okay just because they are bigger or louder or stronger. His backstory is NOT his redemption, his actions for this chapter and the last are him working his way there. His backstory just gives us some insight on his character and why he does some of the things he does.)

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Do you like having your picture taken? No.

2. Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or non? I’ve had pictures taken at photo studios and I have a cousin who’s a photographer that did my college graduation photos.

3. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why? I mean, nowhere right now. BUT, there’s a lot of places I’d love to visit one day. Various countries and places here in the US. I just want to be able to travel a lot one day.

4. Who would you take with you on this little adventure? My family.

5. What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime? That’s going to be different for everyone of course, but basically something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. Conquering a fear.

6. Would you ever do that? I don’t know. 

7. Have you ever done crossword puzzles? Yeah. I much prefer word searches, though.

8. Ever actually completed one? Yeah.

9. Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it. There isn’t a book near me.

10. Do the same with a lyric from either a cd or the radio. Nah.

11. Have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams? Yeah, many times. I’ve tried to look up what some things symbolize and what it might mean for me. 

12. Would you put up posters in your room? Yeah. I have some things hung up. 

13. Can you sing? I can’t sing well at all. I wish.

14. Do you ever sing to yourself while doing everyday tasks? Yes.

15. What's your favorite color of post-it note? Pink.

16. How many cassette tapes do you own? Zero.

17. How many cd's do you own? I don’t have any CDs anymore.

18. Ever bought a cd for just one song? I probably have. 

19. What would your perfect day consist of? Beach days are nice. Or since it’s winter, renting a cozy cabin in the snow sounds lovely.

20. Have you ever lied to get off the phone or out of talking to someone online? Yes.

21. Have you ever written a survey? Once. It was several years ago during the Xanga days. I wish I still had it saved.

22. How about a song? If so share it. No.

23. Or maybe a poem? If so share it or one of them. I dabbled with poetry when I was 16. I am definitely not sharing one, they’re super cringey.

24. Is your vcr flashing 12:00 all the time? I don’t have a VCR. Wow, cassette tapes and VCRs how old is this survey?

25. Do you read your horoscope? No.

26. If so, do you base your day on it? No, I’ve never been into astrology. I used to read it when I was younger like in an magazine, but it was always just for fun.

27. Would you rather chew gum or use mouthwash and why? Chew gum. Mouthwash is way too strong to me and I find it irritating for my mouth and yeah it’s just not a pleasant experience.

28. Do you floss? No. :X

29. Are you addicted to napster like me? Okay, now you’ve mentioned Napster so this survey is super old. Napster was like late 90s and early 2000s. 

30. How many times a year about are you sick? I rarely get things like a cold, which I find interesting because I feel like my immune system is crap, but I feel sick and crappy often for other reasons.

31. Ever been in an airplane? Yes, a few times.

32. If so where were you flying to? Georgia and back and to Disneyland and back.

33. What radio station to you listen to most? It’s been a few years since I’ve listened to the radio.

34. What color are your shoes? I wear my black Adidas the most.

35. Was fuzzy wuzzy a bear? He was. He had no hair, though, so he wasn’t actually fuzzy.

36. Do you know how to play dominos? I’ve never really played.

37. Or do you think I just mean pizza by that? No, I know what dominos are.

38. Speaking of pizza, what's your favorite kind? (toppings and/or place to get it from) My favorite is from this local place. I like to get white sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, crumbled meatballs, garlic, spinach, and pesto and olive oil drizzles. I’ve been really craving that lately.

39. What color are your eyes? Brown.

40. How many surveys have you filled out this lifetime? Oh pffffft, I am not even going to attempt to figure that out. There’s no way I could. I’ve been doing surveys for so long and sadly so many of them are gone because they were done on Myspace and Xanga. :(

41. Describe your bedroom, include all details. Okay, you want details? Here we go...

It’s small and has way too much stuff. For one thing, there’s giraffe stuffed animals all over, including a 4 ft one in the corner. There’s a dresser by the window that has my TV and Christmas decorations on it. To the right of that is a 6-cube shelf with some of the aforementioned giraffe stuffed animals as well as giraffe knickknacks, some coloring books and coloring supplies, a mini Christmas tree on top, a few more giraffe stuffed animals, a nice picture frame with my dog, Brandie, who passed away, and my BB8 droid I made at Disneyland. Above the shelf is an I Love Lucy wall clock. My closest is nearby and is full of medical supplies, 3-drawer file thing with random stuff I insist on holding onto, my shoes, and all my jackets and sweatshirts. To the left of my dresser is my bookshelf with a lot of books and other figurines and knickknacks of various things I like and hey surprise, surprise, more giraffe stuffed animals! Across from the bookshelf and dresser is my bed, which is also my desk cause I keep my laptop on it, my chargers, my phone, a coloring book, a couple packs of colored pencils, my Bible study stuff, my remotes, and my Nintendo Switch. I have a pile of clothes, too, cause dresser and closet are too full. I have like 8 throw pillows, a body pillow, a back pillow, and a couple actual pillows. I have a few stuffed animals that sit on my bed as well, which are a huge squishmallow giraffe, a small squishmallow pug, a small squishmallow Dumbo, a small squishmallow Baby Yoda/Grogu, and a Baby Yoda/Grogu plushie. To the right of my bed is a TV tray that has my bottles of water, my medicine and pill crusher, a box of straws, a glass, a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, chapstick, my wallet, a Zip-loc bag with half a glazed donut and half a chocolate one, and a small bag of shortbread cookies. Behind the TV tray is my 3-drawer bedside table, which has a makeup storage thing on it that I plan on cleaning out and getting rid of cause I don’t wear makeup anymore and could use that space for something else, a bottle of lotion, a couple little room sprays from B&BW, and a jewelry tray. Hung up on my walls around the room are a few giraffe framed paintings, a couple beachy canvas paintings, two Alexander Skarsgard calendars, a bulletin board with various stuff pinned to it, and a marker board. There’s also a hamper in here, a floor lamp, a ceiling fan/light, two fans, and an ottoman.

42. Name one person your life is made better by. My mom. She’s my best friend. 

44. How about someone else's? Huh?

45. Can you do math with ease? Ha, noooo. Me and math never got along.

46. What size is your computer screen? It’s 13.3 inches.

47. If you could only talk to one person online who would that be? Someone from the survey community on here.

48. Name your favorite type of music and why. I like a variety of music--various genres and decades.

49. Are you a vegetarian? No.

50. How about an aspiring actor/actress? Not at all.

51. What famous person dead or alive would you interview if you had the chance? Alexander Skarsgard.

52. Which movie can you watch and say the lines along with the actors? There’s a lot of movies I could do that with. I try not to cause it gets annoying, but it happens.

53. Name one of your passions in life. I don’t know. :/

54. What's your least favorite time of day? Evening time.

55. Who's your favorite member in a band, singer, guitarist, bassist, drummer, and why? The singer, typically.

56. Do you use hairspray or gel? I use neither.

57. Describe your favorite meal. Wingstop’s boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings. I also really enjoy my nightly bowl of ramen.

58. What color is the inside of your head when you close your eyes? Black.

59. Ever listen to classical music? Not typically, but it is nice.

60. Have you ever said lol in real life without thinking about it? No.

61. Do you find you use internet language when writing notes irl? I use “wtf, “wth”, “omg”, and “lol.” 

62. What songs would be on your ideal cd? Like I said, I like variety, so a mix of songs.

63. Say one thing you've learned today. Nothing, really.

64. What is the best present you've ever given someone else? I don’t know.

65. What is the best present someone else has ever given to you? I’ve been given many nice gifts throughout my life. I’m appreciative of all the gifts I’ve received.

66. So hey, what's your full name? Stephanie is all you need to know.

67. Describe yourself while drunk. I was chatty and annoying.

68. How big are the windows in your house? Regular, common size? .

69. Do you wear a watch? Nope.

70. What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done with someone else? Nothing.

71. What's the largest age difference between you and someone you've dated? Just a year.

72. How many mirrors do you have? Just one in my room.

73. Write one sentence stating what you want people to say about you after you've passed on. I don’t know, man.

74. Have you ever sailed? Nope.

75. How fast can you run? I used to be able to go pretty fast, but not now. I don’t have the upper body strength or energy I used to have.

76. What do you believe in? I believe in God.

77. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Not long at all. I just change clothes, quickly do something with my hair, brush my teeth, put on deodorant, put on my shoes, and then grab my bag and mask and go. And a coat if needed.

78. Do you shower daily? If not how often? No, I shower 3-4 times a week.

79. What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so? I’d make it so I had good health.

80. Describe the ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it. Teleportation. I’d travel all over.

81. Are candles romantic or a fire hazard? They can be both.

82. Name something you've done in the last 24hrs no matter how big or small. I had coffee and donuts. Exciting stuff.

83. Do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, rings? I haven’t worn any in awhile.

84. What colors are you wearing right now? Just black.

85. How often do you change the sheets on your bed? Twice a month.

86. Have you ever gotten lost? Not alone, thankfully, but yeah.

87. What's on your computer desk? I mentioned in the question about my room that my bed is also my desk and I listed the things on it.

88. How many folders are on your desktop at the present moment? Zero.

89. When your talking do you ever use your hands to do quotation marks in the air when saying certain words? Sometimes, if I find it necessary to do so.

90. Which landmark would you climb if you could? None.

91. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I read the Chicken Soup For The Soul books when I was younger but that's it. <<< Same.

92. Ever seriously questioned your sanity? Yes. 93. Can you breakdance? No.

94. What's in your fridge right now? Food and drinks. I’m tired from listing everything in that room description question lol.

95. How many people do you live with? I live with 3 people and a doggo.

96. Have you or would you ever do anything more than kiss in a public area? No.

97. What is the strangest thing you've ever done? Uhhh. I don’t know.

98. Name an instrument you've never played but would like to. Guitar.

99. Have you ever been on tv or the radio? Myself, as well as my story, was on TV after my accident happened. 

100. What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you? Physically hurt me.

101. Are you a fast typer? Yes.

102. How high have you counted before getting bored? I don’t know, but probably not very high. I probably would get to 100 and be over it.

103. Describe how you sleep. (ie. your position and/or how you fall asleep) I sleep slightly propped up and turned to my left side. I have indigestion and post-nasal drip issues, so I can’t sleep flat. I have a whole nighttime routine consists of scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, and listening to ASMR until I feel tired enough to fall asleep.

104. Are you straight, bi, gay? I’m straight.

105. Do you ever do something else while on the computer? If so what? Sometimes I’m watching TV.

106. What is the most expensive item you own? My MacBook Air.

107. How about the least expensive? My little knickknacks.

109. What do you do online? Check my social medias, watch YouTube, scroll through Tumblr, and do surveys.

110. Name some stores you've bought clothes in before. Boxlunch, Hot Topic, Kohl’s, JCP, Target, H&M, Macy’s, Forever 21... those are a few that come to mind.

111. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? I struggled with mythology. I just couldn’t get into it, so that definitely didn’t help, and it was hard to follow.

112. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yeah. Whenever that happens I jump on Google and read up on it afterwards. 

113. Do people pick up your slang language more than you pick up theirs? I pick up lingo from others most often. 

114. Are you easily influenced by other people, or current trends? No, I wouldn’t say that.

115. What makes you unique in your own opinion? I don’t feel very unique.

116. Name your worst quality. Where to start... .

117. Name your best. I like that I’m open-minded.

118. What would you like to do with your life? I need to get myself together and figure that out.

119. Do you blowdry your hair? Nah.

120. How many clocks are in your house? We have like 3 wall clocks and there’s digital clocks throughout the house on appliances and electronics.

121. Are they all set on the same time? The phones and electronics are. The others are a few minutes fast. My parents set their digital clock like 15 minutes fast.

122. Have you ever intentionally set a clock ahead or behind the actual time? Like I said, we set some of them a few minutes ahead.

123. What do you think about when you first wake up in the morning? "What time is it?"

124. Which browser do you use? Google Chrome.

125. Do you bite your nails? Ugh, I don’t bite them but I pick and clip at them with clippers constantly. 

126. Would you ever leave little notes to your gf/bf? Sure, I think that’s cute.

127. Ever been to a farm? Yes.

128. Tell me about your dream last night. I don't remember. I rarely ever do. What typically happens is I’ll remember when I first get up, but then it like vanishes. My dreams are like Snapchat. If only there was an option to save or screenshot them like Snapchat.

129. Ever seen a shooting star? No, actually.

130. Say one thing about yourself you've never told anyone. Uhhhh. I’m so boring, I can’t think of something interesting to share.

131. Do your days fly by or seem to last forever? It often seems like the days go by slow, but then before I know it it’s already been a whole week again and I’m like wtf it was just Monday? That’s how the years tend to feel, too. There’s definitely some days that just really seem draaaaag, though. And there’s something about January that always feels super long. 

132. Have you ever stayed in a fancy high class rich hotel? Yes. 133. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? No.

134. What in your opinion is the best advertising slogan out there? If they get stuck in your head then they’re doing something right. It’s gotta be catchy. Jingles work well.

135. When they start sending rockets to the moon for us civilians, will you be on the list to go? Noooo, absolutely not.

136. How are you feeling right now? Tired, kinda hungry, and lonely.

137. Have you ever written anything on your skin? Yeah.

138. If so what? Random stuff. That was something a lot of people seemed to do in like middle school and high school for some reason.

139. Which website do you frequent most often? Tumblr and YouTube.

140. What color are most of your clothes? Black.

141. Do you own any plants? Nope.

142. Are things as bad as they seem? They sure seem bad to me.

143. Describe the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you. My mom is amazing. She’s sacrificed so much. I’m 31 years old and require aid with some things and here she is still taking care of me and doing so much for me on top of working a full-time job, being a caregiver for a family friend as well, taking care of us as a family and of things at home, and she very rarely has anytime for herself. She’s spread very thin and works so hard and yeah I just could never thank her enough. She’s the absolute best and I would be so lost without her. I couldn’t keep going if it weren’t for her.

144. Ever looked directly at the sun? Yes.

145. Have you ever made a pin hole camera to watch the eclipse? No.

146. What's your favorite cereal? All the main sugary ones, ha.

147. Who do you miss? My loved ones who have passed away.

148. Name something you just can't forget no matter how hard you try. Uh, a lot of things. My mind doesn’t like me to forget things like that. It likes to remind me of them often. Things like that hit at random times as well, like my brain will be like, ‘hey remember when...’ and I’m like, ‘ugh, yes I remember you won’t let me forget.’

149. Describe the worst fight you've ever been in whether physical or verbal. I’ve never been in a physical fight, but there were some verbal ones. I don’t want to get into them right now.

150. Say something else about yourself you've never told anyone before. Noooo. 

[the-rainbow-mafia-blog]

“You really think people are buying into this whole goody-twoshoes thing you got going on, huh?”  Faba couldn’t help but sneer at the man he thought he’d never see again.

“So far so good.” The other responded with a relaxed smile. “Can’t say the same for you. You should hear people talk about you. Either you changed a lot.. or they don’t know you at all.”

//Story continues under the cut //

Faba bit the inside of his cheek, why was he here? Why was he in his office. Didn’t he have anything better to do than to bother him at his place of work. The only place he knew he would be safe. Safe from his past,  a past he tried to desperately to forget but it somehow always caught up with him. It’s not like he didn’t try to better his life after the whole thing. It’s just that fate seemed to have other plans for him.  

“You’re working late by the way.” The other continued, filling the silence in the room. “Is she okay with that?”  That caused Faba took look up, his icy blue eyes meeting yellow ones. He stared daggers at him before looking away, his eyes lingering a moment to his desk, where he kept a picture of her hidden. “She’s gone.”

Perhaps Faba was seeing things but he could swear he could see the ghost of a satisfied grin on the other’s face when he looked up. “My condolences. But this explains so much..”  He put his hands on the desk, leaning down and looking at Faba. “The whole attitude, the fact that you took this job despite everything you said and promised yourself and her-.” The loud bang of Faba’s chair falling over as he stood up silenced the other. The burning feeling of grief and loss made him feel sick.

“I want to be you when I grow up.” Faba said, bitterly. He knew full well the man before him was close in age, he never bothered to ask and if he ever did he probably forgot about it by now. “Not caring about others, only doing stuff for others if helps your own selfish needs. I shoud’ve been a selfish asshole like you- it would have saved me so much trouble. You’re a grade A role model..”

“Well you always knew she was a liability.” The other said dryly.

The familiar taste of blood filled Faba’s mouth. He bit too hard on his cheek but he didn’t care. Instead he kept looking at the other, enraged.

“You are no better than I am. You come in here, with your holier than thou attitude. We were both there- We saw what he did. What they did and we did nothing.”

“We were young.” The other defended. It sounded rehearsed. It probably was.

“That’s not an excuse. It never was. I tried hiding behind it too but I couldn’t. I tried to make things better.” Years of pent up emotion came pouring out. Like someone had opened a valve. “I tried to use what I learned- what I saw- to help people. I didn’t do anything bad at first. But then she died and they offered me a chance to bring her back. They ask me to play God for them but I can’t bring myself to attempt it on people. It’s wrong and she’s insane. Her kids had every right in leaving her. And I thought- I thought that if I pretended to hate all of them... They would have no reason to come back here.” He sighed and realised he was shaking. “What I know, is going to die with me. I was blinded by grief when I first did what I did. I shouldn’t have done it and I know that now. I may be lonely but it’s better that way.”

He stood up straight. “This way I can’t be tempted in giving away what I know. Like Ghetsis tempted me... Like Lusamine tempted me and like you are trying to tempt me, Colress.”

////////////////////

// Some very heavy game based HC stuff. I played with the timelines so it would fit the story I wrote. This is only a very small part of a chapter.

I think Faba is a great character if Nintendo knew how to write him. They wasted so much good potential. 

This is my HC for a younger Faba, think early 20s, I think he was always a smart kid who had a knack for DNA splicing and science. I like to imagine he was a sweet kid who really tried to better the world but the universe around him made him lost and bitter. In my HC he started out in Team Plasma, saw the garbage way people were treated and was disgusted by it. But too scared to say anything.

This story takes place a little before Sun and Moon. Colress I based on mostly HC stuff too.  I played around with this story so much that I replaced the canon and subsituted with my own. The writers of the game can have their HC and I can have mine.

Who ‘she’ is is something I’m going to keep under wraps for now.  Thank you for making it so far in my rambles. If you ever want to talk about HC, I’m here.

The drawing is Faba’s utter look of disgust at what’s happening but feeling unable to stop it.//

[welcometoyournewhell]

The Monster Within

A/N: The back tickle spot was inspired by an idea form @kwaiipootato. Bakugou reunites with a part of himself he hadn’t seen since childhood while playing video games with his boyfriend. 

__

It was a hardly known secret that Katsuki Bakugou was an insanely talented tickle monster. Within the walls of U.A. High only two.... three other’s knew of this. The damn nerd, the idiot, and the copy of the idiot. Why might Tetsutetsu know this rare information? 

Well, that would be due to his best friend dating said tickle monster and feeling the wrath on a day to day basis at this point. Deku had tried to warn Kirishima, but talked himself out of it. After all, there’s no way a something like that from childhood could have thrived all these years, right?

Deku was his first and last victim, and that stopped when they were four or five. He wouldn’t dare to tickle his other “friends”. But the tickle monster once more showed it’s evil head. 

It didn’t even start with a ticklish incident like most re encounters. No, no; it started with a video game. Was there a tickle scene in the game? No, there was not. It was like a SEGA or Nintendo game. The characters were cartoon-like, and it was more like party games. 

But the blonde agreed to play with the other. However, rather than playing the main game, they decided on party game.... that Kirishima was kicking ass at! As the other one once again, Bakugou felt a strange urge come over him. It was one he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Shaking his head, he tried to ready himself for the next competition after moving his character. But.... he couldn’t. What was this feeling and why couldn’t he remember what it was from? Was he feeling.... lustful? His face was heated, but his pants were normal. 

There was no way he could as Kirishima for something like that anyway, especially when they just started dating. He looked over the other, feeling his craving growing worse. Curves, something about them was just.... calling to him. “Dude, are you paying attention?” 

“Huh?” Kirishima pointed to the screen. They were preforming some other odd task that made no sense. What were they climbing flag polls with monkey helmets? Regardless, his character looked cute. But that was beside the point. He wanted to loose. 

The Katsuki Bkaugou.... wanted to lose. Which he did, drastically. The two computer fill ins even defeated him. Unfortunately this didn’t cause the type of reaction he wanted. “Dude, you okay? You seem, whoa!” The two were wrestling like small puppies before the blonde gained dominance over the other. 

He was seated between the red head’s legs as he looked over him hungrily. “S-Suki? Hey man, what are you doing?” He sounded a bit nervous, which weirdly fueled the flames. Was he becoming as sick as Mineta? That’s when it hit him. 

‘Wha, K-Ka-chan! Sthahaop, pleehheease! My tummy, no! It tickles!’ A small Midoriya fell back as he laughed  in the front yard of his home. His childhood friend tickling away at his small freckled tum, even lifting the shirt to blow raspberries like his parents did to him. ‘No way, how can you even be this ticklish, huh?’

Little legs kicked out before fingers dug under tiny arms. ‘Nhahahao, Ka-chahahn it tickles!’ ‘Well that’s the point Deku! Even someone as dumb as you should understand that!’ 

His eyes widened a bit at the memory before closing as he smirked. “Oi, shit hair. Something I’m surprised Deku hasn’t warned you about. Though.... it’s been suppressed for sometime.I doubt the nerd even remembers at this point.” The red head was confused. “Suki, what are you talking about. Also.... our kind of scaring me man.” 

Red eyes opened again as the other hovered over his boyfriend with a devious smile. “You wouldn’t happen to be ticklish, would you Eijiro?” Oh shit! The look of panic on the younger’s face was quiet clear he was. “C-Can’t we talk about this?” Kirishima was already giggling in suspense, leaning back into the mattress as the other’s hands moved closer to his sides. 

“Not even fucking touching you yet, sweetie. Why are you laughing?!” He always had to make everything so intense. The crazed look in his eyes wasn’t helping the situation either, along with the maniacal smirk. “Come on man! At lest be gentle!” Um..... well. 

Bakugou may be a bit out of practice for that one. Fingers found the other’s hips before earning a shriek, full body jolt, and a head flying back. “Nhahahao! EEEEEHEHE! BHahahakugou!” The laughter wasn’t patterned and seemed rather forced, more so than normal. “Enough with the annoying act Kirishima, let me hear how you truly sound!” 

He was quick and rough. Rather than giddy laughter, it sounded strangled and painful. “Dude, stop, stop! Ahaha! J-Just, EEEKK! Okay, ow, Suki stop!” The blonde growled as he did, glaring at his own hands. He used to be good at this, the hell?! 

“If.... if you wanted..... to tickle me,” the other took a breath between pants as he sat up and rubbed his sore and ghostly tickle spots. “You could have just asked.” Wait, what? Bakugou looked confused. Kirishima nodded. “Just.... be really careful.” He’d have to explain this at some point, but his quirk didn’t allow him to harden when tickled. 

It was an odd weakness he decided to not tell anyone about or put on the sheet. “You like being tickled?” He asked it like it was the weirdest thing he’d ever heard. “Do.... did you not just try to tickle the snot out of me,” his boyfriend shot back. Touche. “Eh, fair enough. Come here shit hair.” He pulled the other close before awkwardly trying (key word) to drag him like a rag doll. 

Sitting by the head of his bead, he leaned back into the pillows before bending the other’s arms and moving them over his and Bakugou’s heads. Crap, full underarm exposure. ‘How the hell have I not tickled him before?’ He had to have found out at some point!

The two were so close, and Kirishima just radiated “I’m horribly ticklish” vibes! Along with Bakugou’s name, it should be imprinted on his forehead. “Maybe you should take the shirt off.” Huh? The red head turned to look at him. “Um.... It’s kind of chilly in here.” The other sighed as he started to tickle softly at the ribs. “Fine, wuss.” 

Small giggled were heard as Kirishima fought with his nervous system to stay still. Alas, it wasn’t working. But that wasn’t stopping his boyfriend. He wrapped his legs around the other and proceeded to tickle the snot out of him. Fingers found every curve, crevice, nook, and secret freckle that wasn’t hidden by boxer briefs.

At the moment, Bakugou was playing with his feet off and on, making a sort of game out of it. If Kirishima could hold in his laughter he’d tickle somewhere else, if he couldn’t, he had his feet tickled a bit longer. It was almost as if he was enjoying this! It brought confusion and relief to the other.... oddly.

“Oi, shit hair. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you really like being pampered like this.” He was smirking a bit as the younger blushed. The tickling had stopped, allowing him to talk through residual giggles and catching his breath. “I mean... it’s fun. It’s also pretty comforting. Like... like when an older sibling or parent is trying to cheer you up.”

He received a pillow to the face. “Don’t compare me to your family! That’s fucking weird!” The other sighed as he removed the pillow. “Not what I meant. It’s just someone who’s close with you and.... you just have that strong bond. Maybe comparing it to a mom isn’t the best way to put it,” he was cut off. “No shit!” Sighing the other rolled his eyes. “It’s just not something I’ve felt in a long time.”

He blushed a bit. “Closeness with someone who wasn’t family.” He jumped when he felt arms wrap around him. “Stop talking dude. Your making it so much worse.” The other rolled his eyes. “Just.... I like when I’m tickled. Your my family, family doesn't end in blood. But just not like someone I feel is like a sibling. Your a partner no,” Bakugou shut his rambling down by pressing his lips into the other’s. 

“Eijiro,” he huffed as he pulled back. “Shut up about family. Now.” The other yawned a bit. “Sorry.” He giggled as fingers found his ribs again. It was soft and tickly. He leaned back before pulling the other into him. They cuddled lovingly before fingers started to walk up and down the blonde’s back.

Red eye’s widened before Bakugou dissolved into giggles. “Eijiro,” he hissed. The other jumped a bit as his boyfriend forced his way out of the cuddle. “Wait.... are you ticklish too?” Red eyes widened before the chase started. It didn’t last long before Kirishima’s pout wound up causing the older to come back and carry him back to bed. 

But for the touch and comfort starved Kirishima, he now had his own personal cuddle and tickle monster. Not to mention.... his tickle monster was ticklish.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

[blightarts]

POKÉMON AUTUMN VERSION CHAPTER 6: Let’s Rock n’ Roll! Part 2

Previous Chapter: Extreme Mode Engaged!

Next Chapter: More Coming Soon!

Disclaimer:  Pokémon is a property of Game Freak and Nintendo, while Endless  Summer is a property of Pixelberry. I do not claim any rights here.

Author’s Note: If the “Keep reading” doesn’t work, go here for the full post. I’ve decided to split the chapter into 2 parts. Part 1 is here. The script is too long to fit in one chapter.

@princesstopgun, @mechaspirit, @lovearyn, @kaitloyalist, @choicesmarvel, @sceptilemasterr, @hey-its-vy, @skyila, @choicesyouplayandmore, @mysteli, @helentwombly, @scgdoeswhat, @choicesaholic​, @jakemckenzietrash, @xo-endlessmayhem-xo, @abhirio, @diego-vii, @daniela2510, @izzycheeese, @brightpinkpeppercorn​

Recommended Music: Contest! (Pokémon)

A few minutes later...

I.R.I.S.: And now to introduce our next contestant. She is the first place winner of the previous contest that took place in Orderve City. She also happens to be one of Vishakha’s favorites. Introducing Mika and her Espeon!

Mika and her Espeon rush out of the curtains and wave at the audience. With a smile on her face, Mika begins her performance.

Mika: Alright, Espeon, use Psyshock!

Espeon’s eyes glow as she conjures small spheres of psychic-energy and hovers them around the stage, illuminating the contest hall.

Mika: Good! Now, use Signal Beam!

Espeon charges the gem on her forehead and fires a prismatic beam towards the psychic spheres. The spheres puff into pink smoke and covers the entire stage. Mika and Espeon are concealed in the smoke.

Mika: Use Psychic, Espeon!

Espeon’s eyes glow and takes control of the giant smoke using telekinesis. She then spreads the smoke across the floor in the entire hall, like how a smoke machine functions. Mika then places her hand on Espeon’s head and calmly says...

Mika: Last one, use Synchronoise.

Espeon nods and the two take a deep breath. Mika quickly begins to sing with confidence, while Espeon amplifies her voice with her own psychic powers and Synchronoise. The entire crowd marvels at Mika’s soothing yet powerful voice.

Taari: Woah...

Reginald: She’s like...

Elena: Celine Dion...

Reginald: Exactly.

Mika finishes her performance with a last high pitch note and the entire crowd does a standing ovation. Mika and her Espeon smile at the cheering crowd who rains the two with roses.

Blight and the other contestants watch from the curtains.

Blight: Wait... when and where did the crowd get roses?

Kaitlyn: Look! There’s a guy there with a Roserade, using Petal Dance.

Blight: Oh! Makes sense...

The pink smoke clears and Vishakha stands from her throne to comment on Mika’s performance.

Vishakha: I gotta say that you have been killing it with these performances, Mika. First, a giant green owl, and now, a singing concert?! You guys have great talent!

Mika: Thanks a lot, Vishakha.

Mika and her Espeon happily walk out of the stage as I.R.I.S. reappears.

I.R.I.S.: And now to introduce our final contestant. She is the first place winner of the first contest of this year that took place in Metropeal City. She is also one of Vishakha’s favorites. Introducing Kaitlyn and her Serperior!

Serperior slithers from the curtain with Kaitlyn mounting her on the back. Kaitlyn then gets off of Serperior and begins their performance.

Kaitlyn: Right then. Serperior, use Grassy Terrain!

Serperior screeches and a field of plant life start to cover the entire stage. Grass grows from the floor; vines cover the walls and the ceiling; and flowers bloom from all the green.

Kaitlyn: Great! Now, use Leech Seed then Aqua Tail!

Serperior swings her tail and throws a bunch of seeds at the center of the grass field. Small saplings start to grow from where the seeds are thrown. Her tail then glows blue with Water-type energy as she leaps up and slams her tail on the ground. The water then helps the saplings grow into a large tree, with the top reaching the ceiling.

Kaitlyn: Use Leaf Storm, Serperior!

Serperior circles around the tree and a tornado of razor sharp leaves start to whirl around the tree. The leaves then leave lots of cuts across the tree, with some leaves piercing through it. It’s almost as if Serperior is trying to do wood carving.

Kaitlyn: Now, finish it with Aqua Tail!

Serperior’s tail glows blue again as she slams it at the stump of the tree. The sliced parts of the tree then fall of to reveal a giant wooden statue of Kaitlyn and Serperior. The two then do the same pose as the one in the statue.

The crowd clap their hands as the sunlight from the glass ceiling glistens the wooden statue. Kaitlyn and Serperior bow while Vishakha stands from her throne to give her comment.

Vishakha: You really have a thing for carving statues, huh? That’s two in a row, Kaitlyn and you’re rolling. Keep up the amazing work!

Kaitlyn: Thank you so much, Vishakha!

As Kaitlyn returns backstage, Vishakha turns to her sister, Rachel.

Vishakha: She’s got potential, you know? She might even beat me...

Rachel: You think so?

Vishakha: Mhm.

After the performances of all of the contestants, I.R.I.S. calls for an intermission while the results of the judgement are being tallied. 

Recommended Music: Contest Lobby (Pokémon)

Taari, Reginald, Elena and Vishakha reach the back stage and regroups with Kaitlyn, Mika, Blight and Zh’en.

Blight: Yo!

Kaitlyn: Hey, guys!

Mika: Did you enjoy our performances?

Zh’en: H-Hey...

Taari rushes to Zh’en with a smile.

Taari: You were so awesome, Zh’en! I couldn’t stop dancing after what you did!

Zh’en: Hehe... Thanks, Taari...

Taari grins and jumps around, while Zh’en smiles and rubs her head shyly. Everyone else gives them some space to enjoy each other’s company. Reginald walks over at Kaitlyn and Mika. 

Reginald: You guys were phenomenal as always. Your performances get better every time I see a new one!

Kaitlyn: Thanks, Reggie!

Mika: That really means a lot.

The three friends high five and hug each other. Vishakha and Elena approach Blight and Katherine. 

Vishakha: Well if it isn’t the cookieless man.

Blight: Shush...

Elena: Your performance rocks. Pun intended.

Katherine giggles and hugs Blight. Blight looks over at Katherine and hugs her back.

Blight: Well, I had to do my best, since the two people I love the most gave it their all.

Katherine smiles and pecks Blight’s cheek, while Vishakha lightly punches his arm.

Vishakha: Gee. Thanks, Jester.

Katherine: Thank you, Blight. 

Vishakha then approaches Mika and Kaitlyn.

Vishakha: You guys never cease to amaze me.

Kaitlyn: Well, we have to work harder to achieve our dreams.

Mika: We won’t lose no matter what.

Vishakha grins and hugs them both.

Vishakha: Just remember; whatever happens, always have someone who has your back... who keeps you motivated to work harder... who always picks you up when you’re down...

While Kaitlyn and Mika hug her back and smile, Vishakha looks over at her uncle Blight and Elena. Kaitlyn and Mika look over at Taari, Reginald, and at each other. The three smile, knowing that they have such important people in their lives.

A few minutes have passed and the audience returns to their seats in the contest hall, eager to hear the results of the contest. Vishakha and I.R.I.S. take the stage and call upon the top three contestants.

I.R.I.S.: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. It’s now time for us to announce the top three contestants of Ursidae Town’s Contest.

The auditorium becomes quiet as tension fills it. I.R.I.S. accesses the files regarding the results. She then announces the third place winner.

I.R.I.S.: For third place, we have Mika and her Espeon.

The audience claps at the mention of Mika’s name, as she approaches to receive the Bronze Ribbon. Meanwhile, Taari, Reginald, and Elena clap as Mika enters the stage and receives a Bronze Ribbon. Vishakha approaches her and pins the ribbon.

Vishakha: Congratulations, Mika. Your singing voice was amazing to get you this far.

Mika: Thank you so much, Vishakha.

The two smile at each other and exchange hugs afterwards.

I.R.I.S.: For second place, we have Zh’en and his Sableye!!

The audience cheers loudly at the mention of Zh’en’s name. She happily enters the stage while Taari cheers loudly from his seat. Reginald and Elena smirk at him. Vishakha approaches Zh’en and pins the ribbon.

Vishakha: That was a perfect first performance, Zh’en. You have a bright future ahead of you. Keep it up.

Zh’en: Thank you, Vishakha!

The two exchange hugs with a smile. 

I.R.I.S.: And finally, the moment we’ve been waiting for. For first place, we have… Blight and his Noivern!!

The audience bursts into a deafening cheer. Taari, Reginald and Elena lose their minds and started jumping around. Kaitlyn, Mika and Zh’en clap excitedly while Katherine covers her mouth with her hands and cries tears of joy as Blight runs to the stage. He and Vishakha grin at each other proudly. Vishakha then pins the ribbon on his outfit.

Vishakha: Congratulations, Jester. You really are awesome! I told you that you won’t regret this decision. I saw the thrill in your eyes earlier.

Blight: Heh. Thanks, your Highness. And you’re right; I don’t regret it. It’s the most fun I’ve had all year.

Blight reaches for a handshake but Vishakha shrugs it off. Instead, she pulls her uncle into a tight hug. Blight smiles and hugs her back.

I.R.I.S.: That’s it for Ursidae Town’s Contest. The next contest takes place in Aegis Town. Till next time, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you and good night!

Recommended Music: Friend A (Your Lie in April)

After the contest ends, Kaitlyn is backstage and leans onto a wall. Vishakha enters and sees her.

Vishakha: Hey...

Kaitlyn: Oh, hey, Vishakha...

Even though Kaitlyn tries her best to hide it, Vishakha can still see her sadness.

Vishakha: Kaitlyn... you’re...

Kaitlyn: I know... I know... I lost...

Vishakha pulls Kaitlyn in a comforting embrace and tries to lift her spirits up.

Kaitlyn: I didn’t even get to be in the top three....

Vishakha: Sshh... don’t think about that too much. Just keep moving forward. Failing hurts. I know. I’ve been there. But someone once told me; “One will never know true success without first knowing failure.” And from that moment, I didn’t let my failures break me. Instead, I let them teach me, train me into someone better.

The two girls pull away.

Kaitlyn: You really think that I’ll be as good as you?

Vishakha: Yeah... Heck, maybe you’re even better!

Kaitlyn giggles and smiles.

Kaitlyn: Thank you, Vishakha...

Vishakha: There we go! A smile!

The two pull each other into another hug and rejoin the others.

Recommended Music: Surf and Sand (ES)

After the contest, the kids are hanging around the lobby. Hugs are exchanged as the kids start to congratulate Mika, Kaitlyn and Zh’en.

Reginald: That was truly the best contest I’ve seen so far.

Kaitlyn: I’m so excited for the Grand Festival.

Mika: Me too!

Taari smiles and turns to Zh’en.

Taari: I hope you get to join the Grand Festival, Zh’en!

Zh’en: Yeah... I hope so too.

Zh’en smiles at Taari with confidence. Mika and Kaitlyn nod at each other and approach the Vaanti girl.

Mika: We’ll give you a chance, Zh’en.

Zh’en: Hmm?

Kaitlyn: It means that Mika and I won’t participate in the next contest, since we already have a place in the Grand Festival.

Zh’en: Really?

Mika: Mhm!

Blight: Plus, you have a higher chance of winning first place if the three of us don’t enter.

The kids turn to Blight.

Taari: You’re not participating in the next contest, Sir Blight?

Blight: Nope. I have more pressing matters in Aegis Town. Like speaking with Aleister.

Reginald: My father?

Blight: Yep. He hired me for a special Rourke International project. It’s classified.

Kaitlyn: Do your best and good luck then!

Blight: Thanks.

Vishakha approaches the group.

Vishakha: Come on. We’re having an buffet special in the hotel. You guys must be so hungry.

The stomachs of the kids growl and they laugh at each other. They join up with Blight, Vishakha, Katherine and the rest of the Aryndelle Princesses for a celebration. The group spends the entire night, bonding and partying to their heart content. They eventually go to sleep and get a good night’s rest.

The next day, Taari, Reginald, Kaitlyn and Elena are gathered in front of the Ursidae Gym. They all take a deep breath and nod at each other with determination.

Taari: Ready?

 Reginald: Absolutely.

Kaitlyn: Yeah!

Elena: Let’s do this!

Taari grins and looks at the Gym.

Taari: Here we go!

The third contest of La Huerta comes into a close as the challengers make their way towards the Ursidae Gym. How will Craig become a challenge to them? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF POKÉMON SUMMER VERSION!!

[champofpallet]

I’ve Returned...(SSBU Drabble)

“Red! C’mon! We have to get going! Do you have your stuff?”

“Uh huh...”

Leaf looks back at her friend and sighs, hands on her hips. “I thought you were happy you got back in. You’ve been doing a lot of dangerous stunts lately. The boycott you did, the Smash Run stunt. You got what you wanted. Charizard is your Pokemon again.”

Red was quiet again, trying to think of what to say. Charizard was his starter since he was still a trainer back in Kanto, the one he trained the most. He remembers the fun times they had on their journey, the laughs they shared. Maybe Charizard didn’t want to come back. He doesn’t have his Rock Smash anymore, so he must be bummed about that. While Red has been dreaming of this day for so long, he still felt bad about that. Maybe Charizard was better off without him.

Leaf rolls her eyes and gently bonks the red hatted boy with the tip of her fists. “Yoooowch! Ow ow ow...” Red moved to the fetal position and rubbed his head. Leaf was stronger than she looked. “You’ve trained Charizard since he was a Charmander, remember? I was there when you picked him! If anything, Charizard would be happy to see you again. You are one of the most important humans to him, after all.” She gives a big smile before putting her bag on her shoulder. “C’mon we’re gonna be late.”

How does she know that he was the most important human in Charizard’s life? She couldn’t speak Pokemon or read their memories. But alas, he just nods his head to avoid another sharp punch to the noggin. The Pokeballs that contain Squirtle and Ivysaur viberate with joy. They were going to see their friend again. Red wished he could be as ignorant about stat changes and nerfing as they were. He wonders if Charizard would know...his stomach felt sick.

The bus arrives quickly, everyone boarding it in a single file line. Of course, the only people...er and Pokemon that were getting on from this stop were Leaf, Pichu, and himself. Red could see a lot of old faces, ones he hasn’t seen since Brawl. They all cheer when they see him, they missed their old Pokemon bud. He was sure they were clapping for Pichu though since the little baby Pokemon jumped on his shoulder. People did love Melee after all. Red sits on a empty bus seat and Leaf sat on the other side of him.

The Smash Mansion...it’s been awhile since he’s been there...

The ride was pretty long since they had to stop through different Nintendo dimensions just to get everyone. Leaf had never seen such an amazing sight and looked out the window as lights of red, blue, green, and yellow flashed in a circular motion. That was just how dimension hopping worked. In fact, that’s how he got himself to that rainy ruined zoo in the first place. He constantly checked his Pokeballs to see if they still had Ivysaur and Squirtle. There was no way he was going to have to capture them all again like last time. Leaf just thought that it was hilarious how he kept checking on his Pokemon. Red always was a worry-wort.

With a loud screech the bus haulted to a stop. Everyone was ordered to get out in a single file line. Charizard is here...he could feel it in his heart. People evacuated the vehicle carefully, almost slipping on the last step as they departed. Red though had really tripped over the last step, almost knocking Leaf down with him. Oh Red, such a clutz. 

Again they all were seated in front of a big stage. Someone Red didn’t know escorted Leaf to the stage since she was a newcomer to the tournament. He waves goodbye and goes to sit in one of the chairs in the audience. So far...he didn’t see Charizard. Red’s heart sank. It wasn’t that long before he heard someone call his name. A short boy with blonde hair wearing a red and yellow striped shirt. Lucas. His first friend from Smash. Red quickly picked the boy up giving him a bone crushing hug, much to the dismay of Lucas, but he was still so happy to see his friend again. 

“I missed you, Red! It wasn’t fun without you here.”

“I missed you too, Lucas! Man you haven’t changed a bit!” He ruffles his hair and Lucas lets out a small whine. “Aww...but your still taller than me...I thought I could at least get an inch off of you.” Red laughs and scratches his nose with his index finger. “Don’t worry! You’ll be as tall as me soon!” The psychic shook his head to disagree. “You’re just unnaturally tall. Um...no offense. I mean you’re-”

“Twelve. And I even met my adult self!” Well that made sense if he’s twelve, but being the same age and Red still being freakishly tall was...uh...kind of weird. “Wait, you met your adult self? How tall is he?”

Red puts his hand to his chin.

“Hmmm....five foot seven.”

And Lucas looks down in defeat. He was never going to catch up to Red height wise at this rate.

“HELLO ONE AND ALL TO THE FIFTH ANNUAL SMASH BROTHERS TOURNAMENT!” A loud voice boomed through the stadium and everyone turned their attention to the stage. “WE HAVE SOME NEWCOMERS TO SHOW YOU TODAY! THE FIRST IS CAPPY!” A small red cap that looked a lot like Mario’s jumped up. It still was on Mario’s head as it looked around at everyone with bright brown eyes. As intriguing as a hat with eyes was, Red still had to find Charizard. Perhaps he was in the audience? Darn it! It was too dark to even see past your own nose! Maybe he could see a shadow of his Pokemon in the darkness?

There was some commotion on stage as well as lots of applause, yet Red didn’t even look back. He just wanted to see his best Pokemon pal again. “ISN’T HE SOMETHING! MARIO, WILL YOU INTRODUCE THE NEXT PERSON?”

“A-hah! Yes Master Hand-a sir. Ahem. Next up we have our newest new-a character, the Inklings!”

More applause as three Tentacruel looking kids go on stage waving at the audience. Someone sitting dirrectly behind Red didn’t take kindly for blocking their view and told him to sit down. Red grunts and sits back in his chair, agitated that he couldn’t find Charizard anywhere. Lucas could tell something was bothering Red. He opened his mouth to whisper something but was interrupted by a loud voice introducing the next person. 

“AND NOW, FROM PALLET TOWN, RED’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND AND FELLOW POKEMON TRAINER: LEAF!” 

Seeing the girl walk on stage, Lucas smiled and looked back at Red. “So...is that your girlfriend?” Red’s worry was haulted for a moment and replaced with embarrassment. His cheeks turned as red as his hat. “Ahahaha...w-well we...uh...um...”

That’s when he noticed a Pokeball being held by Mario on stage. He wondered if Charizard’s in there. Of course he wouldn’t want to see him. Red stares at his feet. Lucas looked at Red and back to the stage trying to piece together the puzzle. Then like a bolt of lightning, he realized it.

“...Red...”

“AND THAT CONCLUDES OUR-”

“Um...scusami Master Hand. I have-a one more announcement.”

Master Hand looked at Mario in...a way only a hand could look I guess and moves over a few steps. The red plumber went to the podium and clears his throat again. He holds a Pokeball in his hands. From far away, it was like the Pokeball was shaking.

“Red Satoshi, can-a you please come up to the stage?”

Everyone stares at Red as he gets up from his seat. Red looks back at Lucas as if to ask “what’s going on” and all he could reply was a small shrug. Oh man...what is this? Is he going to become an assist trophy now or something? And where was Charizard? Every step he took made his stomach hurt worse and worse. He wasn’t sure what was happening.

As he got on the stage, Mario smiles that friendly smile he always had making Red feel a bit more at ease. Slowly he hands the shaking Pokeball to Red, clasping it in his hands.

“I believe someone wants to see you.”

Red looked at the Pokeball and back to Mario. His smile never left his face, so this must be something good, yes? Red then turned to the audience, everyone excitedly waiting for him to open it. One deep sigh. The pokeball was shaking frantically in his hands now, it was hard to even get a grip on it. Well...he guesses if this is Charizard and he’s mad at him, he could go ahed and give up his spot. He loves Charizard with all his heart after all. A Pokemon Trainer should always strive to make their Pokemon happy. Red takes two steps back and presses the white button on the Pokeball.

A flash of white light appears in front of him, slowly forming to a familiar shape. An orange dragon opened his eyes slowly, scaning left and right. Was that...it was! Red’s Charizard. The one he held as a Charmander. The one he raised for so long. Red was afraid to speak at first, he must be furious with him. But this was never going to get anywhere if he didn’t say something.

“...Charizard?”

Two horn like ears twitch hearing the familiar voice. It takes a moment, but Charizard turns around to see who it was that called him. His blue eyes grow wide.

“H-How...ya doin’ buddy?”

The two looked at each other eye to eye. Red’s own eyes began watering themselves. He knew that Charizard might be mad at him, but it’s been so long since they were together like this. A trainer and Pokemon bond that could never break...

Charizard makes a sound Red hadn’t heard since the Pokemon was a Charmander. It was a sound between a grunt and a gurggle, almost like a trill. He does another a bit louder, almost sounding like he was getting choked on his tears. Before Red could say another word, Charizard flies to him, almost knocking him into the wall. Red flinched. Charizard was mad. He had to know! Why would he jump his trainer like that?

Then he felt a hot nose nuzzle against his cheek, smoke coming out of the Pokemon’s nose like a chimney. Red opens his eyes to see Charizard doing his best to hug him tightly, his blue eyes still filling with tears. Red was confused...wasn’t Charizard angry? Still...he places his hand on his muzzle, stroking it gently.

“Hey...don’t cry...I won’t...take your place. You can go ahead and be your own fighter as you were.” Red couldn’t stand to see his Charizard cry like that. Sure he wanted to come back, but not if Charizard didn’t want him to. Red tries to move but Charizard hugs him tighter, almost as if he’d never let go.

“It seems to me that Charizard wants-a to be with you as a team again. You wouldn’t want to break his heart, would you?”

Red turns back to his Pokemon looking him straight in the eyes. “You’re not...mad about bein’ in a Pokeball? O-Or Rock Smash?” Charizard makes that gurgle noise and hugs Red tighter. In fact, it almost crushed him from how tightly he held. Red’s face turned purple thanks to the lack of oxygen, yet Charizard was too busy hugging the trainer to notice. Mario laughs a small bit. “Er...Charizard you’re hugging him just-a little bit too tight.” Charizard looks back and gasps, letting go of his trainer as he tries to get his breath back.

“So what do you say? Will you let him be on your team again?”

Red was quiet, but then took out Squitle and Ivysaur’s Pokeball and let them out too. All three hugged the fire type tightly, happy to be together again. Squirtle of course was holding onto Charizard’s leg, crying happily to be with his big brother again. Ivysaur was just wrapping her vines arround everyone in a hug. Red hugged Charizard’s stomach, remembering how warm and cuddly he used to be.

“The team is back together at last! I love you guys so much!”

[curious-minx]

The Art Patron (SHORT STORY)

Somewhere in between purchasing a full set of decorative Simpsons plates, a perfectly cromulent companion to my custard yellow walls, and generating writing prompts for aspiring writers to never do, I made a discovery that will change my life forever. 

My love language is tinsel wrapped gifts of the highest and personal order. I wanted my lady love to have a very special Kansas Day. She wasn’t from Kansas, nor did she care much for the Simpsons. She liked them just fine. Oh! A fellow is offering the artistic service of turning “ME!” into a Simpson! My walls could use all of the soggy rubber ducky yellow art it can get and seeing as the only pictures I have of myself are in the womb I think this would be one step closer to adulthood. Click, yes, sir please Turn Me into a Simpson button. Huh…$500. That’s really steep. I close the laptop and pace  around my small, growing increasingly smaller bedroom, and  I trip over a foam dumb bell. I am black and bruised. I have even made myself start bleeding. Dammit I guess I have no choice but to turn myself into a Simpson now. How else will I remember how I looked before I broke my face, but I don’t own any pictures of myself!

I have been grocery shopping recently at Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega! She’s surely got me on camera. I huff down the thirty six flights of my storied building and tip my doorman handsomely. Listen to the heels click and clatter, Big City Blues are calling me. Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega is one of the only approachable monuments to commerce on this fiscally icy block. I waltzed right in through the copyright infringing doors and blast a salutations to Sal herself. Sal puffs on a waterlogged stodgy and turns a page in a dirty magazine about Russian propaganda. There is a man dressed up in a Sonic the Hedgehog suit cleaning up a bloody mess pooling around the cramped store.

The man dressed as Sonic tells me,“Surf’s up, homie.” The gory puddle ripples and soaks. I step around armed with an armful of Clickers, a steady Shenmue stress ball and a  pre-wrapped Alex Kidd Enchanted Castle hoagie, I will have to pick out the pickled capers but it’s still a nice mayo dense sammie.

“Sal, fair clerkess I am hoping you are having a good day.” I am going to crack into the Sal safe one chit at a chat.

“Nope. Keep it moving, kid. Take your change.” She slides my change across the counter and even though I typically despise when people refuse to make hand to hand contact with lending of money I can accept Sal when she does this. She has clearly lived a life.

“I understand, the ToeJam and Earl flavored condoms don’t stock themselves.”

Sal snaps back, “Look-I know you appreciate all of this geeky shit, but this is my livelihood.”

“Sal, I really think you should take an improv class. You would learn not to start all of these customer interactions marinated in sea salt brine saltier than Ecco the Dolphin’s home...I will see myself out.” Damn I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask for a simple favor. An old woman with a brawny  pale tattooed man on leash has entered the store just as I am leaving. The old woman takes off her wig, revealing a bald shiny head and a pistol. She begins shoving the pistol at Sal. Sonic turns on the Jet Set Radio to full blast and slips in the bloody puddle.

I don’t want to call the police, but I call the police.

“Hello, I don’t like you.”

“911, what is your emergency.” The tone of the pig operator is harsh and accusatory. I try to swallow, but I am choking on my enchanted hoagie.

“Bang! Bang! Cops and robbers! 72nd and Pacific Ave! Be here or be square!” I hang up the phone and in my burst of adrenaline have to remind myself to not smash my own phone. I go around the corner and wait for the cops who show up. Hours go by and the Sega bodega burns, robbed and pillage. What a world. The cops finally show up when they finally feel like it and are asking Sal the typical useless questions.

“An old woman and her lackey robbed me blind and you’re just going to file some paperwork?!”

“Listen, sweetheart, this is a big bad world. Shit happens. Buck up.” Office Doomsdairy tips his cardboard hat at Sal and takes a Chocolate Milk that has one of the Super Monkey Ball Monkeys winking on the carton. The cop chugs the whole milk carton and slides Sal a twenty.

“Buy yourself something happy, you look like a miserable bitch. Also, I grew up in a Nintendo household you’re lucky I don’t arrest you for being on the wrong side of the console wars! God dammit! I hate all of these sexual harassment protocols! I used to have a partner I could wisecrack to! Thank you for calling 911, have a nice day.” The cop is leaving and I puff my chest like a mighty Maine puffin and say to the officer, “Wait!”

The cop responds, “Dude, I’m on break. Buzz off.”

“No officer, you should take a look at the security camera footage. You will see that Sal isn’t lying!”

“Yeah, sure whatever.” The filthy cop and I go back inside and now with the Wrong side of the Law by my side I can finally get my security camera footage.

“Why don’t you just take a picture of yourself? You have a phone don’t you?” Asks a nagging insipid voice that sounds rough and grainy against my thoughts. I shove the voice away and continue standing by the dirty Lawman’s side.

“So uh I think I need to see the security livestream. You do have a security camera right?”

“Yes, officer, I have security.”  Sal makes a throat cutting motion over to the Sonic man behind her who sadly puts away his Golden Axe. Sal lifts open her gate for the officer to step through and he immediately turns on the bathroom security footage and begins fast tracking and rewinding the footage stopping at every womanly shape. He does this for a while and clutches at his foam padded pants.

“Hey kid, this technology bewilders me. Maybe you should find the crime.” The cop stretches and scrolls through his phone while I fumble with this alien technology hoping to click the right video feed. I eventually stumble, click onto a feed of the main entryway and rewind to the robbery. I look over and notice that the cop is injecting himself with a violent red powder and kicking at Sal’s managerial locker. I rewind further and find a good headshot of myself prior to my accident. Seeing as I stop in every day it doesn’t take long for me to find yesterday’s beautiful face. I cringe and take out my own phone and take a picture of my image on the security camera display monitor. I fast forward back over to the unfolding of the crime. Another cop appears, Officer Wrathsberg.

“Fuckin hurry up Doom! What’s the hold up? You jerking off to potty pics again? And who the hell is this civilian? Get out of here!” I take my leave and hurry back home with a visage of myself in tow. I tip my doorman again and rush back up my thirty six flights of stairs. Back home. My plants are still wilting, my cat still isn’t back from her shopping trip, and my walls are still the color of Big Bird’s sperm. I upload a picture of a picture of myself and take another $500 out of my savings. I am going to be turned into a Simpsons.

The Simpsonfy me fill out form is of a considerable depth. They want to know a lot of personal information that I am frankly insulted no one has ever asked me about before. Some questions make me reconsider my entire worldview. I am going to be one terrific Simpson. I finish the survey and look for a way to tip the artist, but their cryptic Paypal does not offer a tip button so I add on an extra $25 to the $500. I wait. In the amount of time it takes for someone to open and close an app I get a response.

“Thanks. I will see you tonight.”

“Wait, what?” I say out loud and really wish I hadn’t. Going to take hours to get this kind of negative energy out of my house. I type up, “No thanks, please find attached the photograph of my visual likeness to assist you on what I am sure to be a lovely portrait. Thanks again and I hope you have a nice Kansas day!”

I close my laptop and masturbate because I am grateful for being an artistic patron. I feel what Walt Disney must have felt every time he flexed and brought a new animated confection to the world. The wait for the portrait will be excruciating.

My lady love, who is totally not my sister, Franchesca has returned home! I rush to the front door like a toddler puppy hybrid too cute for his own good embracing the warm glow of the Feminine return, and she grunts out a hello. She peels off every article of clothing off from her body and leaves it behind like a scorned Pompei cast away and excuses herself to the shower. I bend down and sweep up her sticky and sweet bundle of clothes and fold them into the clothing hamper. I wait for her shower and she joins me in the rhomboid rumpus (and rumble) room clad in nothing but her Parisian robe.

“So, how was your day?” asks Franchesca, and I look into the depths of her expansive molasses colored eyes.

“Pretty good! I got you a Kansas Day gift! Do you want to open it now or later?” I hand her the wrapped stack of decorative Simpsons plates.

“Um sure? Kansas Day? Is this because I told  you about that anime convention orgy I attended in Kansas? Either way, it is appreciated.” She unravels my gift which is wrapped in such a way to provide a user-friendly experience. She stares  at the top plate on the stack, Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy saxing together in the moonlight. The best plate. Franchesca puts it down, not even considering the other four plates in the set.  

“Thanks so much! I am sure one of these will look great hanging up on her walls the color of sick lemon. The purples will work real nicely. Now if you don’t mind me I think I will have a nice lie down for awhile. Wake me if you need anything.” Franchesca retires to her separate bed chambers leaving the pile of decorative plates and wrapping paper. I don’t bother picking them up. I don’t know what sort of reaction I was expecting, but this one left me cold. At the very least she could have dramatically smashed one against my head if she hated them so much. I slink away to the liquor cabinet.

I bend down to the  liquor cabinets’ sleepy filigree doors and whisper into them, “I will take one big and brown, please.” I take out a mostly full bottle of pre-made Whiskey Sour. Too many times I have gotten super sloshed making my own cocktails and making a huge mess in the kitchen, and as anyone who has ever met me always leaves with one and only one impression: “I can tell that he’s not the biggest fan of messes.” I messily chug straight from the bottle until I sputter out the synthetic 65% concoction. I pour another glass in a frosted novelty glass of a franchise I don’t even like and sink into my chaise beanbag lounge. At least when I wake up I will finally be a Simpson.

////

My throat is too dry to swallow. My eyes, too blurry and caked over to blink. My arms were too roped and bound to move. I try to speak but only weakness comes out. Every inch of my body feels like it is experiencing a tingly chemical burn. I produce a groan! That’s progress. The room isn’t spinning, but it’s not a stable clear image for me either.

“Congratulations Mister Branche, you’ve officially been made into a Simpson.”

“Dooough.” I am trying to ask what the hell is going on, but my mouth is also too heavily caked over in a rubbery mask to move. My vision is starting to reappear and I am not too sure I want to keep seeing what I am seeing.

“Hush, now do you want an official Simpson name? I was thinking Albert Sacksworth, but I am always open to my clients suggestions. No rush, but I will need a decision in less than twenty four hours if we are going to sign your official Simpsons birth certificate.

“Dooough.” I am trying to say that this is an outrage and as a fellow literalist I am sickened by this criminal negligence, untie me you scoundrel!

I am released into the world as a Simpson character. I only have eight fingers now. I will use all eight of these fingers to climb my way back into my lady loves’ arms.

The End.

[adifferentworldtwo-blog]

1: Coming Home

Ron

The sound of my doorbell rang and I was excited. My best friend and his family were finally moving back to Virginia, six years after being in Tokyo. We didn't have much time to catch up on the phone because of those international charges. All I know is he needed a place to stay until he finds a new house to buy, so I got him.

I got up and opened my front door.

Immediately my two godchildren came running towards me. “Uncle Ron!” They said in unison.

I laughed, giving them both hugs.

“Can I play your Nintendo 64?” DJ looked up at me.

I chuckled, “Yea. You get into the living room and I'll set it up for you.”

Both of the kids run past.

Dwayne welcomes me with a big hug, which we rarely ever do, but I can't help but to hug him back.

“Finally, man,” I smiled.

He smiled back, “Yeah, we back out here, man.”

I noticed Whitley from the corner of my eye. She looked a little distraught.

“Whit?” I smiled with open arms.

She immediately changed her expression into a big smile, “Ronaldus!” She made her way to hug me, “I hope the basement is already set up for us because I'm a little exhausted from that plane ride.”

“Everything's set up perfectly. Come on in.”

They walked in with their suitcases. Dwayne looked around, as if he was reminiscing.

“What you thinking about there, Dwayne?”

“How simple things were when I lived here,” he sighed.

That's right. I took over the house after Dwayne and Whitley moved. Ironically, now that they're temporarily staying here, they have the basement.

“What does that mean?”

“I'll catch you up to speed a little later. I see you got all of our boxes,” he chuckled.

They started sending me boxes full of the things that they wanted to keep from their apartment in Tokyo before officially moving out.

“Uncle Ron, you don't have the new Nintendo 64, yet?!” DJ exclaimed.

“The new one? There's a new one?” I looked at Dwayne, confused and shocked.

“Oh yea, Japan’s a little more advanced, my brother,” Dwayne smirked, “But don't worry. America will release the new one in a few weeks, though, you good.”

I sucked my teeth, “Whatever. Are you sure all four of you can sleep in that queen sized bed?”

“We can't,” Whitley forced a smile, “So, I’ll be taking the bed in the basement with the kids, and Dwayne will be on the couch, if you don't mind.”

“Whitley…” Dwayne looked at her.

She glared at him, warning him to keep his mouth shut.

Dwayne let out a frustrated sigh, letting it go. Something's definitely going on between them.

Whitley grabbed as many bags as she could before making her way to the basement.

Little Aiko ran after her, “Wait, Mama!”

I smiled at Aiko’s need to follow her mother around. I turned to Dwayne, “You in the doghouse, huh? What for?”

Dwayne sighs, “I messed up, man,” he looked down at DJ, then looked back up at me.

“Let's catch up in the kitchen,” I made the way as I walked to the kitchen, Dwayne behind me.

He sat in a chair, “Got anything to drink?”

“I got you,” I went in the fridge to get a pitcher of iced tea, “So what'd you do?”

Dwayne looked to floor and sighed.

Whitley

I dropped my bags to the floor and ran for the phone. I could feel myself ready to explode. I quickly dialed Kimberly’s number.

After only a few rings, someone answered. It was Spencer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, It's Whitley. Is Kim there?”

“Yes, she is. Kim!” He called for her.

Seconds later she was at the phone, “Hello?”

“Kim?”

“Oh my god, Whitley! You're back?!”

“For good,” I frowned, looking around Ron’s basement.

“What? Why?”

“It's such a long story, Kimmy, I-” my voice began to crack. I felt myself ready to cry but I shook my head, trying to stop the feeling.

“Whitley, is everything okay? Where are you?”

“I'm at Ron’s. We're staying here till we find a place.”

My daughter sat on the bed next to me and cuddled up to me. I put my arm around her.

“Do you want me to come?”

“Um, no, I’ll come to you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm positive. I need to talk. So much has happened, Kim, I don't know what to do.”

Kim sighed, “Okay, well, get your butt over here. I'll be waiting.”

“Okay, I'll see you,” I hung up. I looked down at Aiko, “You wanna come with me to Auntie Kimmy’s house?”

Aiko gasps, “Yes!” She smiles, excitedly.

I giggled at her, picking her up. She reminds me so much of myself when I was younger, so happy and energetic. I made my way up the stairs back to the main floor. I walked into the living room, to see DJ stuck to that dang video game.

“I'm going to Auntie Kimmy’s house and I’m bringing Aiko, do you wanna come?”

DJ kept his eyes on the TV, moving his fingers on the game’s controller, “I'll stay with Uncle Ron. His games are fun.”

“Okay. Where's your daddy?”

“In the kitchen.”

I nodded. I walked to the kitchen, knocking on the door. I seemed to have interrupted a conversation because it all got quiet.

I opened the kitchen door, “I'm leaving to go to Kim's. Aiko wants to go with me,” I looked blankly at Dwayne.

“Are you.. are you coming back tonight?”

“Do you see any bags in my hand? Yes, I'll be back tonight, not that you deserve it,” I rolled my eyes before walking out.

-

By the time I got to Kim’s, Aiko was knocked out. I paid the cab driver, before coming out the car, holding my baby. We're still waiting on our car to get transported from Tokyo.

I rang the doorbell and Kim excitedly opened the door. She was about to give me a hug until she realized an asleep Aiko on my arm.

“Oops. She's sleeping already?” Kim opened the door wider for me to walk in.

“Yes, it was a long, long plane ride. An exhausting one too,” I walked inside.

She smiled, “Well, at least your here. Here you can lay her in the guest room,” she walked me to another room in her apartment. She owned a two bedroom.

“This room is adorable. I'd change the drapes, though,” I walk in, laying Aiko down.

Kim shook her head with a smile, “You're always ready to renovate a house that's not yours.”

I giggled, covering my daughter with the blanket, “I can't help it.”

“Yea, I know. I learned that years ago.”

I turned to her and excitedly ran to hug her, finally, “I haven't seen you since your wedding!”

She hugged back tightly, “I know, I know! And look at you,” she let go of the hug to observe me, “Your body’s still tight as ever. There's no way in hell Dwayne could look elsewhere, huh?”

That struck a nerve. I inhaled sharply, and looked down.

She shook her head no, “Oh, no. That can't be what you needed to talk about. Dwayne didn't--”

“He did, Kim,” I felt a lump in my throat. My eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, no, come on,” Kim lead me out of the room, “How about I pour you a cup of coffee and you can tell me all about it,” she gestured for me to sit in the couch.

I sat down, trying my hardest not to let any tears fall and ruin my make up. I hated that Dwayne did this to me. I hated that he made me feel this way. This was my biggest fear as a married woman and he made it come true.

Kim disappeared into the kitchen.

I looked around Kim’s living room before looking down at my fingers. I was so happy. A successful black woman working in one of the most famous art galleries in Tokyo, married to a man who works for an engineering company. A man who made it his job to marry me. A man who fought for me for years, even when I wasn't convinced that he was he man for me. A man who gave me two beautiful children and now all of that is broken. What has become of me?

I felt a tear roll down my face, but I quickly wiped it away.

Kim came back in with two cups of coffee. She handed me one. She sat next to me, with the most concerned and sympathetic face.

I cleared my throat, “So where's Spencer?”

“The hospital actually needed him and called right after you did. He'll be out for the night. But enough of that. What happened?”

Flashback

I woke up from my nap. It was my day off and earlier this morning I had made a big breakfast for my Pookie and my babies, before kissing my husband goodbye and dropping the kids off to school. I came back home and went straight to my bed.

I looked at the clock. 12:42. Dwayne’s lunch break was in 45 minutes, and if I hurry up, I could make it.

I brushed my teeth again, to freshen up. I let my curly, dark locks loose, to frame my face.

Dwayne and I have been so busy between working and the kids that sometimes making time for each other is hard. But after an argument, I realized it was time to try a little harder to give my Pookie some attention. And I know just how to spice up his lunch break.

I called his favorite take out Japanese food spot in Tokyo, and asked if I could make an order for pick up. Then I put on Dwayne’s favorite lingerie of mine. A red bustier corset, a red thong, garters, and tights. And of course, my red pumps.

I went back into the bathroom, and powdered my face a little so my face doesn't shine. I put on a little mascara, lined my waterline with a black pencil liner, and a bold, red lip.

I made sure to drench myself in Dwayne’s favorite perfume on me, Chanel No. 9, before putting on my black mink coat, wrapping it around, and making sure that it doesn't show a thing. I grabbed my purse and made my way for the door.

After picking up Dwayne’s food, I was right where I needed to be. Kinishewa Enterprises. I got stares, but I didn't sweat it. When you're anything but Japanese, living in Japan? You're gonna get crazy looks no matter what.

The receptionist smiled, “Mrs. Wayne.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m just dropping off a little something for my husband for him to eat.”

“No problem, go on ahead,” the receptionist kept her grin.

My heels clicked against the floor as my body got to the elevator. Just in time, it dinged and the elevator doors opened. I let the two business-men walk out, and I stepped right in. I pressed the number 4, as Dwayne works on the fourth floor.

I smiled to myself just thinking what I'm gonna do to that man in his office. It'll be short and sweet but it'll leave him wanting more once he gets home. And I'll be waiting.

The elevator got to the fourth floor and I stepped out. As I made my way to his office, people waved and greeted me. Dwayne being the only African American who works in Kinishewa’s Japan headquarters, everyone noticed and knew us.

As I got in front of my baby’s office, I wanted to make a slow entrance and catch him off guard. I twisted the knob gently and opened the door just a peek, just so I can see how adorable my man looks while concentrated on work…. but that's not what I saw at all.

Some… woman. On my Dwayne. His hands groping her behind while she tongues him down. Immediately, my face turned to a frown. My eyes swelled with tears but I couldn't cry. I couldn't be embarrassed.

I didn't know to react so I just… I closed the door gently. As if I was never there. I’ve never rushed out of a place so quickly in my life.

Tears poured down my face as I drove home. All that was going through my head was I hated him. I hated him so much.

I'm an angry eater, so when I got home all the food that I got for Dwayne was mine. I stuffed my face with food one second, was crying my eyes out the next. What did I do wrong?

End of Flashback

“Oh, my god, Whitley, I’m so sorry,” Kim comforted me as I cried into her chest, “Dwayne is such an asshole.”

I sniffled before looking at her, “And when he got home, he knew. He knew that I knew. And he wanted to talk but I was just so uninterested at the time.”

“So you two haven't talked about it since it happened?”

I shook my head, “No. I've only asked if he's been having sex with her. He said yes, and I was over it. I didn't wanna talk to him. The only other thing I've said regarding this was I'm going back to Virginia. I didn't come to Tokyo for what he decided to put me through, and I'm taking Aiko and DJ. And he said fine. But he's not letting me go alone. So we made the decision to move.”

“And leave Kinishewa?”

“Well, to be honest Dwayne’s been missing teaching for a while now. And DJ comes home crying at least once a week from Kindergarten about something that some little brat wanted to say about his skin. You know I gave Aiko her name to try to help her fit in, but the second I brought her into a daycare to try and register her, they were giving Aiko such funny looks that I just changed my mind. There's so much that contributed to this move but Dwayne’s infidelity is just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“I'm so sorry, Whitley. Do you know how long… it… was going on?”

“I don't wanna know,” I stared blankly at the floor, “at least not yet. I'm not ready to know. It's too much, Kim.”

“I understand. And I didn't know those things were happening to DJ and Aiko.”

“Yea,” I sniffled, “And you know Dwayne can help DJ. Black man to black boy. DJ has somebody who understands him. Aiko doesn't have that. I can't relate to my baby,” tears start to fall again. I couldn't help it.

“Oh, Whitley-”

“You know, one day, Dwayne and the kids came to visit me at the art gallery. I was so happy to introduce my boss to my family. My bosses five year old daughter was there. She took one look at Aiko and said, ‘Ew. Her skin looks like dirt,’” I sniffled, “and my boss, she… she tried to pull her daughter away from us. But Aiko understood her. And Aiko started to cry. And I tried to comfort her and she looked at me and said ‘Your skin and hair is pretty, mama. Mine is not,’” I scoffed, “My heart broke, Kimberly.”

Kim eyes looked watery. She shook her head, “Whenever you need me to, I’ll talk to her, okay?”

“Will you?” I wiped my eyes, “She looks up to you so much.”

Kim nodded, “I know what it's like to be that dark little girl that everyone makes fun of. I'll always be able to talk to her. Come,” Kim opened her arms for another hug.

Dwayne

Ron looked at me furiously, “You can't be serious.”

I sighed, “I know. I fucked up, man,” I clenched my jaw, “I'm such an idiot.”

“Na, you're more than that. Whitley's grown to be like my sister, she didn't deserve that, Dwayne,” he turned his head to the side, observing me. It was almost like he didn't know who I was anymore. I don't know who I am anymore, either.

“I know, I know. She's been so distant since, man. I don't even know if I can get her back.”

“I mean, is it a surprise that she's distant? What woman you know is gonna drop everything she knows and loves to follow a man to Tokyo?”

I looked down. I didn't know what to say. I had no way to defend myself.

“You fucked up with the most loyal and understanding woman I know, Dwayne. You know how many brothers wanted that? And still want that? Are you out of your damn mind? What were you thinking?”

“When it started, I was lonely. She was busy all the time and didn't even have time to talk so I could tell her how I was feeling,” I still kept my eyes on the floor.

“So you go and cheat?”

“Fuck,” I made a fist out of anger, “I know it was stupid, alright? And it's not even like I did the shit one time, this went on for months, Ron. She was all I had when I first moved out there, man. How could I do this to her?” My eyes didn't leave the ground.

I was searching within myself for answers, angry with myself. I felt selfish. I felt stupid. I felt so many things at once. She’s my wife. Why didn't I just find a way to talk to her?

Ron sighed, “What lead up to the first time?”

Flashback

“Dwayne, not tonight,” Whitley fanned me away with her hand as she closed her eyes.

It's been a long week, I've barely seen my wife. Between both our jobs and the kids, it's like we barely have time to say five words to each other.

“Come on, baby,” I kissed her hand, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, but I'm tired,” she looked at me.

“Too tired for your Pookie?” I tucked her hair behind her ear.

She sighed, “Dwayne. Please?”

I sucked my teeth, “We haven't been intimate in over a month. That's not an issue to you?”

“Not when I have a job.”

“Oh, look at you. Finally getting a job and now it's all you worry about. Just forget your husband's needs, right?”

“Excuse me? Don't be ridiculous. We have things to pay for.”

“No, I have things to pay for. I pay the rent and bills, all you do is go shopping with that money of yours.”

“Oh, so you buy all the kids clothes?”

“I would if you weren't so adamant on spending money on designer clothes for our children.”

“Why can't they have nice things, Dwayne?” She sat up, slightly raising her voice.

“They do have nice things. A roof over their head, food, clothes, and two loving parents. I don't need them turning out bourgie and spoiled like you.”

“Ohhh, okay. So is this about sex or is this about ragging on me? Cause you have a lot of mean things to say, tonight.”

“I'm just frustrated, Whitley! I haven't made love to you in a month. I miss you. I miss my Bunny, and it feels like you're not concerned at all, baby.”

“Because I feel like this is a childish conversation, that's why. You're upset because I don't want to have sex.”

“Not just sex. When's the last time we laid down together and just talked? When's the last time we went out to dinner? When's the last time we went to the movies? When's the last time we sat down as a family and ate dinner? It's been a minute, Whitley.”

“Well, what do you want me to do about that, Dwayne?”

I sighed. She wasn't listening to me. She wasn't listening to my needs or my wants. She wasn't listening to the fact that I missed her. She wasn't listening to anything.

“Nothing, Whitley. Do nothing. It's not like you do anything for me, anyways,” I sighed and got up.

She gasped and threw a pillow at me, “You're sleeping on the couch, tonight!”

“Trust me,” I made my way towards the door, “That's where I was headed, anyway.”

End of Flashback

“Oh, wow,” Ron looked at me, “I'm not saying what you did was right but-”

“You understand how I was feeling at the time, right? You know me. I can never just wake up one morning and decide to hurt my woman. I fought for her too hard to do that. It just… happened.”

“I understand. You felt ignored.”

“I did. And then the next morning, her eyes looked red and puffy. Like she had been crying. I tried to talk to her then, too, but she wasn't hearing it. So I went off to work and…”

“That's when it happened the first time?”

“Yea. And you know what the worst part was? After it happened, I came home. Whitley had dinner cooked up and had put the kids to bed early. And I wanted to talk to her about it. I did. But she just started apologizing to me. Apologizing and saying how right I was, and how she wasn't making time for me. So, she had dinner ready and wanted to spend all night with me. I couldn't tell her, anymore. I felt so guilty.”

Ron shook his head, “This is crazy.”

“It is. We had sex that night. It was the greatest I felt in months. And she was smiling at me, after. I miss that smile, man,” I looked down at my hands, “She hasn't smiled at me since she found out.”

[badly-drawn-piplup]

Looking Past It

My sister recently helped me move into my new apartment. After getting a few boxes in and getting my couch, a few chairs, and my table all set up, we decided to take a break. She packed a sandwich she had made from her own home and peeled a banana. While she ate, I took it upon myself to walk around. I was feeling unusually restless. It could have been an anxious spell, a sort of excitement, anything, really. Whatever sense of curiosity befell me, I opened the closet door in my living room, and to my surprise, there was a box taped shut.

It must have been leftover from the last tenant, but there was no name or address. Nothing written on the box. I brought the box out into the living room.

″What you got?″ My sister asked, mouth full of banana.

″Someone must have left this here and forgot about it after they moved out,″ I explained. Against my better judgment from all the horror movie scenarios I've seen, I posed the question: ″think I should open it?″

She shook her head. ″What if they come back asking for it? Pretty rude to just peek into people's stuff, don'cha think?″

I ignored her. Without even bothering to get a knife, I ripped the tape off of the box and opened it up. In retrospect, I don't even know why I asked her. My impulses were stronger than her suggestions. It's always been this way with us, though. Advice just goes right out the window.

Inside was an old cassette player. Or, at least, that's what it looked like. I guess what it more closely resembled was a Nintendo 64, right down to the rectangular, yet curved shape and the cartridges. There were a few scattered cartridges, in fact. I thought of calling them cassettes, but I didn't see any tape. Rather, what I saw on each one were dates.

7/7/1968, read one. Another, 10/8/1968. The dates ranged from 1968 to 1969. My sister leaned over and saw what I was holding.

″That's a long time for those to just be hanging around a closet,″ she observed, snorting and making a chuckle.

″Maybe it was a keepsake the previous owner had and just kept in the box. Or maybe they got it at an antique shop,″ I speculated.

″Maybe it's a bootleg video game console and the games are super bad,″ my sister also suggested.

She threw her banana peel in the trash. It was at this point that curiosity got the better of both of us and we threw caution to the wind. We plugged the electrical cord into the nearest wall socket and inserted the cartridge with the earliest date on it, labeled 5/7/1968. It (possibly) being so old, we weren't very sure what would happen. Some audio playing, some recording, perhaps? Most likely static and stuttering, then the machine turning off and us left to wonder what it would have played...

But no, instead, when we put it in, a tiny screen opened up. We weren't sure what to do next, so I pressed play. As soon as I did, a video played in black and white. In it, someone in a lab coat stood next to a table full of random trinkets. They started to speak, their voice muffled and filled with static, but we could still make out what they were saying:

″What you hold in your hand is, what I hope to be, the first device that allows you to go forward and backward through time. Due to the size, it only allows for one person and has yet to be tested. To use this device, press the rewind button to go backward in time and the fast forward button to go forward in time.

″Currently it's only set to go to a fixed point, the date on the cartridge. If you are from the future and you press rewind, it will take you there. If you are somehow in the past, you would press fast forward. A word of caution, as unfortunately I have no way of knowing where it will take you if you press fast forward from the future, or you are from before the date on the cartridge and press rewind. This device is still a work in progress and I hope to perfect its functions in later models. I hope that improved models may fall into your hands as well, whoever you may be.

″And to my daughter, wherever you are, I love you, and I'm sorry I get so absorbed in my inventions. I hope you see this one day.″

My sister and I turned to each other. We weren't sure how to react. Whether to laugh or be amazed. Then there was the message at the end, but it didn't seem to have any importance.

″Should I press rewind?″ I asked. ″Do you really think we'll go back in time?″

″You heard the guy. Even if this thing works, you'll be the only one going. I don't think that's very fair.″

″How about this? If it works, I'll come back and tell you about it, then you can try it. Deal?″

She smiled. ″Deal.″

″Well then, be right back,″ I mused, smiling as well before pressing rewind.

I left the house and into the darkness of the world outside. There, I ran out into the fields, past the cul-de-sac and toward the van where my girlfriend lived. She had her lights on and could hear me running. The stars were in full view, ripe for a calming moment for the two of us where we could lay on the roof and forget things for a while.

But tonight I had too much on my mind. After climbing up to the roof of her van and next to her, she could tell I just wasn't feeling the night's air like she was. When she would look over to me, I would turn my head, and when she pointed toward constellations, I would only nod and not be as amazed as usual.

″What's wrong?″ She finally asked, not wanting to keep up a silence that signified anything but peace.

The bubbles rose to the top and I couldn't help myself. Once I started, I knew I would be in a frenzy.

″My parents, they're so square! They don't dig the way I dress! They call me 'dirty commie!' just because I can't stand unnecessary war! They see my flower crown and my earrings and shred me to pieces over it!″ Every other word I spoke seemed to carry a growl along with it. She knew how I could get and she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

″Thank you. It's just...how can they be so anti-peace? They act like everything is dandy as long as it's 'for the country',″ I continued, using air quotes while doing so.

″They just don't vibe to the same tune, dear,″ she comforted.

″Ugh! Tell me about it! Tired of school, in all honesty! I just wanna take this van and live off nature with you!″

Her smile gave me warmth, even in the cool air of the night. ″And maybe we can.″

I sighed. I should have been calmer, but I was still so full of worry. ″I want to, but I'm worried. What if I'm not ready? What if I regret it?″

She laughed a little. ″Your parents really did name you after an active volcano, huh?″

I started to blush. ″Wha...What of it?″ I turned away, asking.

″You're hot like one!″ She yelled, then formed her hands into claws and tickled my sides. If she (and I) weren't careful, I could fall.

Sometime later, while still late in the night, I crept back into that same house. No lights on, save for one: the door to the garage, where my father spent his time making things. He spoke so in favor of 'Nam, both him and my mother, that it was any wonder how he had such a knack to make trinkets. I never thought much of it, but I knew when he wasn't ranting about how right our government and its killings were, he was busy ranting about how he was one day going to make it big. Revolutionize the world or something.

Rather than go to my room and sleep, I took it upon myself to crack the door open just a sliver more. What I saw was just the dim light of a flashlight. He himself, was nowhere to be found. No other sign of life. Shelves full of unfinished toys and metal parts that didn't seem to fit with anything. On one  of the tables, in the middle of everything else, however, was a rectangular box with some kind of cassette tape on it, although lacking in actual tape, and instead had the date 6-8-1983. That year hadn't happened yet. My guess was that it could have been something he was planning to have made by that date.

Curious, I pressed play. Expecting sound, instead a screen opened up. How he had managed that was somewhat of a feat I never saw him capable of.

On the screen was an image of my father, pacing across the garage, smoking a pipe.

″Ah, hello there. If you are watching this, I expect you wish to travel to the future? The very place we find ourselves in every second of the day. Who knows what might await us there? I've set a fixed date to where you will find yourself in if you so choose to press the fast forward button. If you wish to go to the past, press rewind. Be warned that I have yet to coordinate a specific date before 1968, so if you choose to visit the past, there is no way of telling where you might end up.

″One last thing: hold onto this device. Whether you press fast forward or rewind, this device goes with you. But if you aren't holding onto it when you move, it will move elsewhere, and you will have to locate it if you wish to go back to your own time.

″And to my daughter, I love you, whoever you may be and wherever you may go in life. Even though we don't always see eye to eye, my one wish to you is that you may find happiness.″ He took a puff from his pipe and the recording ended.

I wondered if this was his way of apologizing without saying it face to face. It felt too sappy, too sentimental, for him. I shook off the last message and focused on the first two: the possibility of leaping so far forward in time. It made me chuckle, but once again, curiosity got the better of me, and I pressed the arrows pointing forward.

At first nothing looked different until I realized I was outside. Not only that, when I turned around, I didn't see an apartment complex, but instead a suburban jungle – houses sprawled in a circle. When I there were houses lined up every which way, in every which shape. All I knew is that those homes were things I would never be able to afford. My credit was too poor and I wasn't one to be scammed by a subprime mortgage.

There was a newspaper on the sidewalk, the date saying July 7th, 1968.

I wanted to explore, immerse myself in the experience that was this era, but fear began to take hold: I didn't know how I was going to get back to my own time. Anyone else would have forgotten that little detail and went exploring, but it was already at the forefront. I didn't have the device with me. Without it, I couldn't imagine any other way I could go back to my own time. Panic set in and I went on autopilot, wading through the streets of this neighborhood.

Street names were the same. Alder, Hawthorne, Birch. If I wasn't mistaken, this was the same place I knew, but a setting I was unfamiliar with. Some things remained the same: a corner store, a post office, a museum. One building I passed by held a tinge of familiar and yet was certainly a piece of the past: a red bricked school building. Nowadays I knew it for being renovated into both a bar and a movie theater. Back then, it was a high school. Teenagers were crowding around the building in their school uniforms. There were a few who weren't wearing their uniforms, and I thought of how lucky I was for never having to wear one when I was in high school.

Some of the students were wearing tie-dye shirts and some in flannel. Some in overalls. I noticed a girl pass by, blonde hair, wearing a beret, hooped earrings, and the signature tie-dye shirt a few other students were wearing. Some were sitting outside the school in the lawn, with signs protesting the Vietnam war.

I didn't have the heart to tell any of them how it would turn out. I didn't even know if I should meddle in a time that wasn't my own. There were rules that were never explained, ones that I never thought I would have to follow. So instead I prayed that they saw me instead as a passerby, or didn't see me at all.

Days passed and every now and then in cafes I would see the paper. Sure enough, it was 1983. Things were different, but...not enough. The war ended as a disaster. More losses, nothing to gain. My eyes were weary, not the free spirit I used to see myself in mirrors. My whole self was defined by coffee and stale toast in diners, mooching off food from whoever would give some to a young girl like me.

Of course, I still had the device with me. I held on, just as my father instructed. I didn't think anything of it until I actually realized that I was still holding the device and in a time that wasn't mine. For whatever reason, I didn't return just yet.

It wasn't until a following morning, in an empty cafe, that I let out a deep breath and pressed the rewind button. Seeing how the war ended and my disillusionment for it all, I felt a stronger desire to return. I would return with a new confidence, resolute to run away with my girlfriend, in my own time, and not wherever she may have been here. But before I were to spend my life with her, I wanted to see my father one last time.

″What took you so long?″ My sister asked. I gulped. The truth was that I broke into someone's home and found the device. It took me a few tries. Once I was in the 80s. Then I was in the year following the great recession. After, I found myself right outside the apartment complex.

″How long was I gone?″ I asked, not answering her own question.

″Only about a few minutes. Finished my banana while you were out. So did you travel through time or just go outside for a few minutes?″

″A little of both,″ I admitted.

I decided to go for a bit of a walk. She could mess with the device if she wanted to. Outside, things were more how I was used to seeing them, but I still got  blurred visions of images in 1968. I felt a migraine coming along and I would have to go to the nearest Rite-Aid and pick up some excedrin to deal with it. For a second, as I passed by the movie theater, I thought I saw the same girl walking by on the sidewalk, the one with blonde hair, hooped earrings, tie-dye shirt. But instead, it was someone else, wearing an overcoat, despite it being the middle of summer. Or early spring.

My brother just got back and already went back outside. We still have all this unpacking to do and I'm not going to do it for him. I felt like napping on the sofa, figuring I would wake up by the time he got back. I was just about to drift off when I heard a knock on the door.

I lazed out of the sofa and opened the door. There was a girl in a thick overcoat. It wasn't a particularly hot day, but it seemed out of place.

″Hey, I just moved out. I fear I may have left something here,″ she explained, voice cracked and shaken.

″Uh...″ I stalled.

″Excuse me, can I help you?″ I heard my brother's voice behind this stranger claiming to be the former tenant. The stranger in the overcoat ignored this voice and leaned her head through the door. I wanted to yell ″hey!″ but it was too late, she had shoved past me and ran over to the sofa where the device was sitting.

My brother gasped, and pushed his way in as well.

She started shuffling through the cartridges, going through different dates. I heard her mutter about how the one she had was labeled ″1983″ but the latest these ones went to was only to the year ″1969″.

She found one, however, dated 11-10-1969.

″This is the earliest one here.″ She looked over to us. ″Hey, mind if I plug this in?″

My brother and I exchanged glances. He turned back to her. ″Well, if this is your stuff...″

″You already helped yourself...″ I groaned.

We all sat down at the table. She put the cartridge in the device and pressed play.

It began, once again, with an image of her father. Black and white.

″My daughter, I'm sorry. I failed.″

She started to tense up. I could already feel the air different. Before she had a sense of urgency, curiosity, but this other feeling I couldn't place so easily. She wept, placing her head on my chest and tears catching on my turtleneck.

I looked up across the table and saw my brother. He shrugged and gave an awkward look befitting for such a position.

The video continued. ″I made a grave mistake. I cannot see you anymore.″

She leaned up and wiped away her tears. ″It's okay now. I know you're in a better place, wherever you are. I've grown. I just want you to know that I love you too, dad.″

That should have been the end of it, but while she was composing herself, the video kept playing. Rather than the black and white, it tinted to a dark reddish color, and the image of her father, the inventor, went warped. His eyes were all blacked out and everything went fuzzy. The static was more pronounced. His voice spoke, though for the most part, incomprehensible.

″Consume. Eradicate. Devour. Rupture. Ravage. Scratches. Shreds across the universe.″ Were words that could be made out from the demonic voice that seemed to now make up his voice. Her previous calming went back to an upset and she leaned back into my chest. Yet again, I didn't know what to make of the situation, but fear overtook me as it must have her.

My brother got up and turned off the tape.

[thejinichan]

Under the Circumstances Chapter 4

The aroma of bacon sizzling in the frying pan coaxed Yakko out of a dreamless sleep. Squinting in the darkness, a single crack of light shone inwards into his cramped bedroom. “What time is it anyways?" He thought while groggily scratching the back of his head. Not that it mattered anyways, since thankfully, Yakko had the next two days off. Being off in the middle of the week was the norm for him since the weekends were his biggest days for tips. Well, not last weekend anyways. Sighing heavily, he brushed  the thought to the back of his mind. At the moment, it wasn’t worth mulling over, since there was nothing he could do to change it. Always next time, right?  Besides, as far as he knew, Dot and Wakko were going to be home today. Stretching out his lanky arms, a small smile slowly crept across his face. It was a rarity that he and his siblings ever shared a day off, so he was going to enjoy it. Swinging his legs over the cramped bed, he slipped into his dinosaur feet slippers, curling his toes into the soft fabric. Though old and worn, they had been a gift from his brother and sister a few Christmases ago and he was just too lazy to buy anything new.

Still clad in his blue flannel pants and a white t-shirt, he dragged his feet across the floor, and plunked himself down besides Wakko at the tiny kitchen table. His younger brother failed to notice his arrival though, since he was frantically pounding away at his Nintendo 3DS in intense concentration. Grinning, Yakko leaned over, patting the red beanie atop his brother's head so it half covered his eyes. “Looks like someone deserves a gold star for getting up.”

 Instantly, Wakko batted his hand away in annoyance, fixing his hat. “Cut it out, bro.. I’m just about to kick this gym leader's ass! Besides, Dot was making breakfast anyways, which is enough motivation for me to crawl outta bed.”

Dot turned around upon hearing her name. “Morning, Yakko! About time you got up, eh? She busied herself with cracking eggs into a large bowl. “Hope you guys are ok with scrambled eggs.”

A sly smirk spread across Yakko’s face. “Sounds eggcellent! I’ll fry anything, I’m starving!”

“My brother, the comedian.” Dot sighed, wiping her hands on the blue frilly apron she wore over her yellow dress.  

“You mean Comedi-hen?" He added.

“Careful, Yakko, I got a frying pan here.” She playfully threatened, waving it around. “I’m not afraid to use it, either.”

Yakko erupted into laughter while Dot only stuck out her tongue in defiance. The morning would just not be complete unless he got his little sister at least a little wound up. What kind of big brother would he be if he didn’t'? Feeling satisfied with his efforts, he rested his head on his hands, and watched Wakko turn the gym leader's remaining pokemon into dust.

Soon enough, the Warners were eating their fill of breakfast. At least once a week, they’d try to sit down to do so, given their busy schedules. Just as Yakko was about to stuff a heap of hash browns into his mouth, his phone buzzed wildly, the vibrations inching it across the table. Reaching over, Yakko caught the cell before it went flying over the edge.  

"Oi, nice save bro!" Wakko praised with a thumbs up.

Temptation got the best of him, and Yakko checked to see who it was. He already had his mind made up that if it was work, he’d ignore it. Even though he could use the money, today he was going to focus on his family. But it wasn’t Abbey, or one of his co-workers. It was Kori, much to his delight.

Kori: Mornin! ^_^ How are ya?

Yakko: Better now 😉 and yourself?

Kori: working *shakes fist*

Yakko: Take the day off?

Kori: You say that like, it’s easy to do! But my bank account says otherwise XD

Yakko: I’ll raise a glass to that.

“Hey Yakko? Earth to Yakko!”

“Huh?” Yakko snapped out of his texting daze, and glanced at his sister who was giving him a peculiar look from where she sat. “Who are you talking to? You’ve been glued to your phone for the past few days!”

Smirking, Yakko dropped his phone back upon the wooden surface of the table. “No adhesive has been used here, as you can see.”

“D-dot’s fwight,” Wakko blurted, while trying to discreetly cover his mouth while eating. Not that it made much of a difference though since a sliver of bacon hung from the corner of his lip.

Suddenly, before Yakko could even register what happened, Dot had swiped his phone from where it sat. Without hesitating, he lunged forwards to retrieve it, but she halted him with her free hand, his forehead resting against her palm.

“Uh, c’mon sis.” He mumbled. “Give it back. Please?”

Dot grinned, totally ignoring her brother’s request. “Not until I find out who’s got your attention, Yak! And I know for a fact it’s not your boss.” Leaning away from her brother, she swiped at the screen to unravel it's mysteries.

“Damn” He sighed inwardly. He knew his sister too well, and she wouldn’t give up that simply.

Dot’s eyes scanned the phone as a huge smile spread across her cheeks. Yakko gulped, and prepared himself for the onslaught of questions that was about to start.

“So who’s Kori?” His sister, questioned, raising an eyebrow.  

“You got a girlfriend, Yak?” Wakko added as he helped himself to seconds. “Way to go!”

The eldest warner shuffled his slippered feet underneath him. “Just a girl I met a few days back. She works nearby, and we’ve talked a few times, that’s all.” He awkwardly stabbed at his unfinished eggs still on the plate. Being interrogated on the matter was not something he enjoyed in the least.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you guys do lot's of talking.” Wakko said elbowing his brother’s side.

“It’s not like that.” Yakko gestured with his hands. “I mean she’s cute and all, but I barely know her?” Not that it stopped him from flirting with her. But it never went further than that.

“I’m sorry, Yak.” Dot apologized, handing the cell back to her brother. “I didn’t mean to make a big deal out of it or anything, it’s just, I think it’s good that your talking to people outside your job that’s all.”

“Well I talk to you guys, don’t I?” Yakko shrugged.  

“That, you have no choice in, bro.”  

As they finished up their meal, Yakko attempted to switch the subject. “Sooo, Uhhh, what do you guys feel like doing today?”

“Drop some anvils on the hipster douche with the guitar down by the beach?” Wakko said with a grin.

“Tempting, but you remember how city council feels about cartoon physics.” Yakko added.  

“Ah phooey.” Wakko frowned. “Humans just aren’t any fun sometimes are they? It’s not like they’d actually be hurt anyways. " S'only an illusion."

“No explaining that to the board.” Yakko added.

Instantly, a lightbulb appeared out of nowhere above Dot’s head as she nearly sprang out of her chair. Eyeing it hungrily, Wakko reached up for it, stuffing it into his mouth. They winced, hearing the glass crackle between his teeth.

He only shrugged. “Was still hungry.” He patted his belly to get the point across even more.  

The youngest warner crossed her arms. “Pssh, when are you not? Anyways," she added, pausing for a moment, “Remember that commercial I was telling you guys about? That I landed? Well I got the pay cut this morning. And I’m taking you guys out for dinner at that new Italian place by Chez Le Pu. My treat. No questions, or refusals, or telling me to keep my money.  Got that Yakko?

Yakko froze, as he realized just where his sister wanted to go. It was the joint behind his work. What irony was that? "I'm not really in the mood for Italian." He mumbled, averting his eyes.

"Your lame excuses aren't going to work this time. Dot explained. "Just for once, let me do something for you Yakko! You do so much for us so.." She trailed off, her eyes growing large and watery.

"Alright, alright Dot." Yakko said waving his hands in defeat. "You win." He sighed lightly, since he could never say no to his baby sister's puppy dog eyes. He closed his eyes, drowning in the sudden realization it was going to be a long night.

Hours later, the Warners found themselves outside the Slippery Noodle, as the restaurant was called. The neon lights of the sign burned into his eyes. He rubbed them momentarily, unable to shake his discomfort knowing his sister was paying for dinner. He wasn't comfortable with it in the least, but he knew better than to argue the fact. Doubtfully, he did the best to accept the situation since it made his sister happy. And that was all that mattered.

“The Slippery Noodle?” Wakko said with a brow raised. “All the better to slip into my mouth!”

“It’s a good thing this place has an all you can eat buffet, eh Yakko?” Dot said, elbowing her brother playfully.

Shaking his head, Yakko put a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “If they can keep up with him that is.”

Dot lead them into the tiny restaurant, which was less than half the size of Chez Le Pu. It also boasted a much more casual atmosphere. It had been painted to resemble a large outdoor market, the chairs were hollowed out barrels and the tables adorned with flannel checkered tablecloths. Fake vegetables hung from baskets on the ceiling, and a delicious aroma filled the air. Most certainly coming from the large fireplace the chef was currently setting a pizza into.

But then the sight of a certain waitress caught his attention. She was busily stacking menus into a neat pile, when she glanced over to see the trio.

Yakko could hear his heart thumping when she smiled in his direction. “Oh my gosh! Yakko? I didn’t know you were coming here! And with Wakko and Dot!” She stammered, while walking up to them. “Um, I mean, it’s so nice to meet you guys! - Big fan.” She grinned, reaching out to shake their hands. “Welcome to The Slippery Noodle!”  

Before she could formally introduce herself, Dot butted in and took her hand. “Kori right? Yakko told me all about you!”

Kori’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Wait, uh, he has? I mean, we don’t even really-“

“No need to be shy darling” Wakko interrupted. “It’s nice to meet you too, miss waitress nurse!”

“Aha,” Kori chuckled. “That’s a new one.” She clasped her hands together. “Okay, so I’m totally stoked you guys showed up tonight. It’s been a dead evening so far, and it’s good to see a familiar face." When she said this, her eyes met with Yakko. Almost immediately he glanced away, a small smile etched upon his face. “What do you guys prefer? A booth or a table?”

“Booth.” Wakko requested. “Comfier for my bottom.”

“Sounds good!” Kori said enthusiastically. “So umm, follow me ok?”

Kori walked just ahead of them and Yakko tried to keep his eyes on the ceiling, not on how her skirt hugged her hips ever so sweetly. He cursed at himself for being so shallow. But he couldn’t help himself from glancing down at least once. The struggle was all too real for the toon.  

Wakko wiggled into the corner of the booth and stretching himself out upon the plush red material that adorned the inside. Yakko and Dot crawled in beside him as Kori handed them each a menu.  

“Ok, so what can I get you guys to drink?”

Yakko mulled over whether to order a beer or not. He decided not to since his siblings would not be able to partake. “Coke or Pepsi I guess?” Yakko shrugged, leaning back into the booth. “Though if I had to be honest, you? You’re just the tall glass of water I've been waiting for."

" Haha, I hate to disappoint you but I'm not er, on the menu, sorry.” Kori laughed awkwardly.

Rolling her eyes, Dot put her menu down momentarily. “Casanova will take whatever caffeinated beverage you have on tap. And I’ll take a water with a few lemon slices?”

Kori glanced at Wakko. “And you?”

“hmmm…what to drink.” He said thoughtfully. “Sprite?”

“ok, so a Pepsi, a Sprite, and a water with lemon slices.” She listed while clasping her hands together. “I’ll be right back, ok? Then you can let me know what you’d like.

As she walked away, Wakko raised a brow at his older brother. “Always the charmer aren’t you, bro?”

“You should tone down on the flirting just a notch, Yak.” Dot stated. “I mean, if you're really wanting to pursue her that is.”

Yakko casually shrugged. “Who said anything about that? It’s just nice to chat with someone who doesn’t freak out or fangirl when I talk to them.” It was true though. If Yakko had to be honest, he enjoyed watching the waitress turn into a flustered pile of mush. It was really adorable. Chuckling nervously, and desperately wanting to switch the subject, the eldest brother returned to the safety of his menu. " Uhh, what are you guys going to order?”

“Well, we are at an all you can eat pasta place right?” Dot said, closing her menu.  

“Imagine the pastabilities.” Yakko said with a wave of his hand.

“All the pasta.” Wakko said with his eyes turning to the size of dinner plates.

The siblings ended up trying nearly everything on the menu, spare for Dot who indulged in some salad and soup. Soon enough, the quiet atmosphere took a louder turn, and the restaurant began to fill up with hungry customers. Kori scurried around the tables, doing her best to keep up with the demands from the crowd.

Breathless, she past them with a jug of water, and she shakily refilled their glasses. “What can I get you guys now? I’m sorry about the wait...it’s gotten a little crazy.” She said, giving them a reassuring smile.

“I’m surprised there's no one else on the floor with you.” Yakko said, handing her the now empty plates.

“Someone called in, so I’ll just have to make do. Poop happens, right?” Kori shrugged, stacking the dishes. “So, next round?”  

“Surprise us.” Yakko said with a wink. He felt bad for her, understanding the pain of working when it was short staffed. He silently wished he could do something to help her, though he knew there was little he could do except make their orders as simple as possible.

A few moments later, she returned with 3 plates of lasagna, piping hot with the cheese melting down the sides. “Fresh from the oven guys.” She blurted with a smile, while quickly walking over to the next table.

Wakko picked up his helping with no hesitation, stuffing it plate and all into his mouth. He licked his gloved fingers in satisfaction. “Delicious! Well, I’m ready for more.”

Dot slid her plate towards her brother, “Here, Wakko, I was full anyways. Besides you might be waiting awhile from the looks of it.” Her brother eagerly accepted.

Yakko’s ears twitched as he shoved a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. Looking up from his meal, he spied a rather large woman, looming over Kori, yelling in a shrill voice. Leaning over to the side, he eavesdropped on the conversation as best as he could without being too obvious about it.

“This pasta is overdone!" The woman spat. “I demand to speak to the manager! Every time I come here, it’s been mistake after mistake! And I’m frankly sick of your incompetence.”

“I do apologize, miss.” Kori replied in a soft toned voice. “The manager is out for the night. But I’m happy to bring you something else free of charge? I can also take down your name, and the manager can contact you as soon as he’s able to. We here at The Slippery Noodle striv-"

Yakko froze, feeling his blood boil over what happened next. Before Kori could finish her sentence, the woman had shoved the plate into Kori's hands with such force that it poured out onto her uniform. Pasta sauce dribbled down the front of her apron, down her legs and onto the floor. Kori stood their trembling, her bottom lip quivering.

Without even thinking, Yakko sprang from his chair before his sister could stop him. Who the fuck did this chick think she was?  

Yakko tapped the tall woman on the shoulder. She swung her head around with a sneer. “What do you want, toon? I’m kind of busy at the moment.”

“Just a penne for your thoughts.” Yakko said, trying to look casual. “If you don’t like the food, why waste your time coming here? Trust me, you're not doing anyone, any favors.”

“I know you!” She snapped. “Y-you're  Yakko, from Animaniacs! You and your siblings are nobodies now!”

“The only nobody here is you, lady!”  

Yakko glanced to see that his siblings had now bounded over to the scene. All eyes were now on the warner siblings. Yakko felt exposed, knowing that the slightest wrong move could have drastic repercussions.

Kori took a deep breath, and wiped the remaining spaghetti off her shirt and apron. “Alright.” She paused. “You know what? You can leave. Now. Call the manager and complain for all I care.”

The woman gasped, obviously surprised at the assertive tone she had taken. Her demeanor crumbled, as her eyes nervously darted around at the crowd who had witnessed her immature outburst.

"I’ll never eat here again.” She grumbled, reaching for her purse.  

“Good!” Kori spat.  

With one last scowl, she stormed out of the restaurant. A hush fell over the crowd, and light chatter began to fill the restaurant once more. Realizing the moment was now over, Kori fell back into the booth behind her, shaking.

“Oh, my god.” She gasped in surprise. “That was…”

“Something.” Dot said rummaging in her bag. “I know it’s in here somewhere, aha!” She held up a bottle of acme stain be gone. “This is only temporary, but it should last until you're done your shift.”  

Kori gratefully accepted, while eyeing her stained clothing. “Guess I made a real mess of myself.”

“The mess has now left the building, thankfully.” Yakko said, looking towards the door. “Are you alright though? You handled that better than I would have, that’s for sure.”

“I-I’m ok.” Kori stammered. “Just amazed I did that. There’s a first time for everything, right? But in all honesty, if you guys hadn’t of come over, I seriously doubt I would have said that at all.”

“Sweetheart.” Dot said, scooting in to sit beside her. “That was all you, so don’t doubt yourself ever. I have a lot of respect for anyone who works in the hospitality industry. I don’t know how you, or Yakko do it that’s for sure.”

“Well, sis, I’ve had lot’s of practice over the years dealing with you.” Yakko teased.

“Seriously though, thank you, guys! She said, rubbing the stain remover onto her clothing. Kori watched in astonishment as it disappeared almost instantly. “Dude, that’s so cool.”

“There!" Dot smiled, kissing her fingers in accomplishment. “Voila! You look fabulous once more!”

“Aw, you guys are too much.” Kori beamed. “As much as I want to chat though, I should get back to my tables.”  

“While your at it, can you bring more of that lasagna out?” Wakko interjected hungrily. “It’s Faboo!”

“Of course!” She nodded, with a smile. “Anything!”

When it came time to cover the bill, Yakko pulled a few extra crumpled dollars from his wallet, adding already to the large tip that Dot had left under one of the plates Just because he made crappy tips sometimes didn’t mean she had to have the same luck right? He admired her, for somehow managing to keep herself together in the face of jerks. He could learn something from her.

Just as they were about to leave, she approached them by the entrance, her green eyes beaming. “Can I ask you guys a quick favor? I mean, if it’s ok, that is.” She nervously fumbled her fingers, seeming almost hesitant to ask.

“Anything for you, Miss Waitress Nurse.” Wakko beamed.  

“I'm sure you guys get this all the time but, would you mind posing for a photo? We have a gallery in the back when famous people come in to visit. I thought maybe I could add you guys in it, too! God, I feel weird for asking..” Kori trailed off.

“Why of course!" Dot grinned. “Anything for a fan, right? And it's not weird at all so no worries.”

“Under one condition.” Yakko said with an eyebrow raised. “You have to be in the picture too.”

“Sure!” Kori said, pulling her cell from her apron pocket. “Ok, so...well have to scooch in so we all fit.”

The Warners shuffled around Kori, as she fiddled with the front facing camera for a moment. Somehow in the scuffle of things, Yakko ended up cheek to cheek with her. “Is she looking at me?" He thought for a moment. He dared not look at her, instead focusing on the image on the screen. And not of how warm her cheek felt brushed up against his.

“On the count of 3, everyone say Rigatoni!” Yakko burst out.

“1...

2...

3..."

“RIGATONI!!”

[mechanintendomaster]

Unused Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever 27

Unused Mario and Bowser 27

Chapter 27

Author note: Would have been in the place of what is actually Chapter 26. Mario, instead of Kylie would have done some  recapping and reflection before the race which is part of the actual story’s Chapter 26: More Karting With Bowser (The End?). I thought about it for a while and eventually the whole thing was done over with more emphasis on Kylie and her ‘detectives, spies, and plumbers’ tieing any loose ends. This version, while introspective just went on too slow. Enjoy!

8.00 am.

Mario slung his arm on the clock to end it’s torturous alarm. What day was it, he thought? Oh yeah, the of the next Mario Kart... He finally leaned up, feeling like an invisible weight was pushing him back in bed, and his covers became ever more inviting all over again. It had been an exhausting week after finding the cure, and now it had caught up to the seasoned hero. He gently sunk back down, on the verge of visiting Subcon again….

...Someone tall and slender crept through the bedroom door, holding a bowl of some steaming hot substance. With the other hand, he flicked on the light switch without hesitation. “Hey bro, you're up?!”

Mario yawned as he squinted to see his younger brother. Luigi was fully dressed and smirking for some reason. “Say, I didn't get hit by the Mushroom Bus last night, did I?” Mario mumbled.

“Umm...no? That’s what you get for staying up all night with Peach!”

Mario jolted up. “Luigi?! We were in a MEETING!”

Luigi flushed. “Did I say otherwise, bro? Either way, I got a good night's rest and you didn’t!”

Mario hopped out of bed. “Please, don’t act like I wanted to only get one measly hour of sleep. Besides, you didn’t come home with me and last I heard, you were with Boo. What’s with that​, little brother?”

Luigi dashed out of the room. “Not telling!’

Mario sat back down on the edge of the bed. “You win this time, Weegee…”

Rejuvenated by….whatever that was, Mario did his habitual morning stretches. Passing by the kitchen to go the the bathroom, he noticed Luigi at the table and the enticing smell of apple flavored oatmeal. Weird, he thought. Luigi said they were out of the oatmeal yesterday, or maybe he said that to keep him from eating it all, as Luigi often did when he didn’t want Mario eating up food in the house before their ‘shopping day’. “You got me again…” Mario mused.

Luigi looked up. “Huh?”

“Nothing…”

Next it was time for shower, shave, fix breakfast. Just for himself, rather. Mario found it weird not be the first person up, but in all fairness it had been a busier week for him than Luigi. After delivering the cure to the Toadley Clinic, things progressed even faster than the two days before. The cure was rushed to Mushroom Kingdom Hospital East by Dr. Toadley’s associates and by the next morning, everyone had the cure. Toad and Daisy recovered just fine despite being the worse cases and they were back in their respective castles two days later. Toad was lively as usual, but when no one heard from Daisy, it was assumed she was making a quiet recovery, especially since calls to her phone went straight to voicemail. Imagine their surprise when they found out that she’d been practicing non stop for the next tennis game. Her weary but relieved father spilled the beans once Peach got her own father to check up on the neighboring Sarasland. A direct quote from her was, “The next time I face Mario and Bowser, they’re going down!!” Reportedly, even Bowser shuddered at the thought.

Back on a serious note, Peach allowed Bowser make a new “message” briefly explaining that he was NOT the cause of the Mushroom Flu but that he was definitely still their number one nightmare and would be definitely be ruling the kingdom in the next decade or so. The general public were not surprised.

Other than that, Mario had to spend long meetings with Peach other officials discussing legal matters, criminal activity, and ways to prevent such a thing from happening again in the oft used castle courtroom. Larry Koopa was an unexpected (to Mario) guest, representing Bowser’s household as the public face of Koopa relations. Mario could definitely sympathize with him, as they were both kind of hanging around for arbitrary reasons. Larry’s cool and casual attitude didn't stop him from being helpful however. Since he was one of the few ranking members of Bowser’s Castle who never came under complete control of Z, he had a lot to reveal, though never enough to satisfy everyone. Everyone knew the culprit was Zoo Diddley, but since he’d disappeared it seemed that parts of the conspiracy would never be revealed, not that every local paper and news station didn't try to decode it anyway.

Mario also had to survive countless interviews once details of his adventure were leaked. Before long, the public had heard it all, even parts of his adventure that didn’t happen in public eye!

Maio finally set down at the kitchen table with a plate of bacon and eggs in hand as he dwelled on something. Wasn’t there someone at the hospital who telepathically communicated with Z? What if they just hired him?

Luigi got up and placed his empty bowl in the sink. “I have an uh...appointment. I’ll meet you at the track bro!”

Mario squinted at the tiny digital clock on the microwave. “But the race isn't until-” Luigi was off before Mario could say another word.

Now alone, Mario checked his cellphone to see a text message from the Koopa King himself, dated that morning..

“You’ll be dead meat at the race, plumber!!! (Followed by a ridiculous amount of ‘evil’ emojis such as skulls, devils, fire, and... clowns?)” Mario smiled weakly, the threat bringing back a warm sense of familiarity. Going through his contacts, he caught an idea. After a moment Peach answered the phone, and the two spoke for a while, sounding equally groggy.

“Yes. That's a great idea!” Peach spoke, livening up. “I'll tell him, and please come over this morning. Some people would like to speak to you before the race today.”

“Oh sure... Princess,” Mario answered. He just hoped he wasn't going to get rushed by reporters for the twentieth time that week.

………………….

At 10 am, Mario pulled up to Peach’s Castle on his Mach Bike. The entire area was quiet, no yard workers even in site. Alagold was yet again on the front porch with the Nintendo DS playing teenaged ‘guard’ not far behind.

“Hey buddy,” Mario greeted slyly, “are they gone?”

Alagold shrugged as he approached the motored bike. “Who?”

“Eh, nevermind. Guess I was paranoid over nothing. Who wanted to see me?”

“Oh that...Nobody!” Alagold chuckled. “Peach just wanted to get you over here for another cake. I can’t believe you fell for it!...”  

Once inside, Mario saw that his yellow capped friend was right and everything was normal inside Peach’s prestigious abode. His boots squeaked on the shiny floors and there was no dust on any of her decor, opposite of the dilapidated appearance from a week ago. Mario followed an enticing smell to the dining room were yet another cake awaited him on the long table. This one had white icing with light blue details, but Mario noticed something interesting. One might even say unusual. Something Peach would never do...

Bake a normal sized cake!

“Teehee, Mario! Over here!!” Peach called from behind it.

“This cake talks again,” Mario replied teasingly, even though he could clearly see her.

“Mario! Get over here!” she replied in kind.

Mario stopped in his tracks as he had an epiphany. Why recreate that morning?

Peach frowned. “What’s wrong, Mario? We have a busy week and now my presence palls you?”

“Of course not! I haven't rested well lately and then you call me here and do...this…” Mario sat down next to her.

“The cake? You know how often I bake my cakes,” Peach said with a hint of self awareness. Her radio started buzzing but she ignored it.

“But why a normal cake?”

Peach neatly cut herself a slice, revealing the chocolate inside with white cream filling. “I can't bake a petite version of my world famous, hand made cakes?”

“No…” Mario crossed his arms. “Besides, didn't you admit to following an old recipe?”

Peach swept her hair back and glanced away, as if a plan of hers had been foiled by whatever Mario said. “Okay fine. I didn't have time for a giant one. I do have to prepare for the race after all..”

“Now that I believe,” Mario chuckled, finally grabbing a slice for himself. “Don't ever get job where you have or lie, like a used kart salesman. Or a buffet waitress...”

Peach rolled her eyes. “Same for you, Mario… Wait, waitresses lie?”

Mario swallowed another mouthful of cake. “Mm hmm, or the buffet ones at least. They'll say I've been through the buffet line five times when I know it's only been four!”

Peach giggled before covering her mouth in a discreet princess like fashion. Mario was tickled by her prissy ways and joined her, their laughter echoing in the room before the doors abruptly swung open.

A green capped Toad in a dark blue business suit got pushed in with Buckenberry and Toadette close behind. Buckenberry looked normal but Toadette was dressed up in a burgundy colored dress suit. They followed the green Toad, who strolled casually closer to Peach and Mario, even idly swinging his small briefcase as he took in the sights of the castle dining room.

“Princess, you didn't answer your radio! This is the guy that just marched right in here!” Buckenberry barked.

Toadette nodded, trying to keep up in her matching burgundy high heels she clearly had little experience with. “Yeah, and he claims to be ‘important’!”

“This is Mr. Mitch Toadstool, who helped chase Z from the hospital a week ago. Don’t you remember, dears?” Peach reminded them gently.

“Rrrright...” Mario droned. “Well what’s he doing here?”

“It was your idea, silly! He’s going to be one of our new guiance counselors since he can detect extrasensory disturbances! Oh, and I just love his Mushroom Enquirer magazine!”

“Yeah, what the Princess said,” Mitch finally spoke, his voice deeper and raspier than what one would expect from a Toad.

Mario gave the dapper gentleman a once over again. He could understand the swooning, or was that jealousy, from everyone? “Oh yeah. Pleased to have you at the castle. Emery told me all about uh, whatever happened on the roof. Welcome aboard.” Mario got up and held out his hand.

Mitch shook it firmly. “Thanks, hotshot. I’ll root for you at the race, from the comfort of my jacuzzi that is. You have that here, right?”

“No!” Buckenberry answered.

Mitch helped himself to a slice of cake that was pre cut on a plate. Behind it was a plaque labeled “Toadsworth”. “Fine fine. Say, great cake you got here!”

“Hey that slice is reserved for-”

Peach cut Toadette off. “Thank you, tee hee! And maybe we should add a jacuzzi, hmm…”

Toadette and Buckenberry’s jaws dropped to the ground.

Mario picked up his own slice to go, seeing how this was about it get ugly. “See you later guys.” Mario left the dining room, no one even noticing his departure. As he was leaving, he saw Toad waiting around near the entrance wearing a red fancy looking tie.

“There you are!” greeted Toad.

“Hey. You’re racing too, right?”

Toad nodded. “And I’m coming with you because we need to talk,” Toad said in a more serious manner.

The smile dropped from Mario’s face. “Uh, okay..”

Toad lightly punched his shoulder. “Lighten up, I don’t mean like that. I just want to get caught up a on a few things. Like, we've barely even spoke in the past week!”

“Okay, but I was heading to the Kart garage.”

“Well you wouldn't mind giving an old pal a lift, right?”

Mario smiled. “Fine, but next  time I’m charging! By the way, what’s with that tie?”

Toad rubbed the silky dress accessory between his fingers as they left the castle. “This stupid thing? Mr. Toadsworth convinced Peach to change some policies and so now castle advisors and management have to ‘dress up’.” He unloosened it from his neck and instead tied it around his head like a bandana. “But screw that! We’re off duty during a Mario Kart, right? Oh, neat. You brought the Mach Bike!” Toad ran up to the parked bike, leaving behind Mario on the bridge over the moat. By the time Mario had reached it, Toad was already in the passenger side cart making playful engine noises.

“What would we do without ya, Toad?”

……….